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It's Friday, children, meaning it's time for Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries of fucked-up hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don't have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday. After the jump, Joey Arak's list. Enjoy.

OK, so here's the deal: We'll be the first to admit that this shit gets tired, but you know what's not helping? The esteemed gentlemen taking these photos. Hear us out. We planted an operative inside Misshapes last Saturday, and he told us how there was hella people waiting in line to get in. In fact, there were so many people that the cops came and shut Misshapes down. We were psyched, because with that many people crammed into Luke and Leroy, that meant we'd finally — finally! — have some new faces to look at.

But no. Not a one. It's the same fucking people every week. Not only that, but it's the same. fucking. people. across. all. these. shitty. sites. Such as here and here. Or here and here. Or even here and here AND here. The cities don't even matter! As these photo sites start to get a lot of mainstream media attention about how they're documenting such an exciting and vibrant and risque nightlife scene, we have to ask, is it really so wild and crazy and awesome when it's just the same 30 douchetwats playing grab-ass with each other 6 nights a week? Who is more played out? Us or them. Yup, you guessed it. Both. We all suck. More proof? Alright, well, over in Cobrasnake land, the motherfucker slapped his face on a turkey's body and is selling it for 30 bucks. Need we really say more? Anyhow, here's the freaking list.

10) Last Night's Party. Robot Rock (Pt. 2) photo #7647: You know what's grand? If you saw this chick on the sidewalk outside Lucky Cheng's on First Ave., you'd quickly scurry by and later tell your friends all about the dumbass Jersey trash you saw living it up at her retarded bachelorette party. But instead you saw her at Movida and you dug it and your friend tried to touch her boob. It's like, on some West Side Story type shit, you dig?

9) Last Night's Party. Robot Rock (pt. 2) photo #7711: The thing with this guy is that he's such an ass-backwards Don't that he's completely switched the polarity of the universe (up is now down, down is now up, Pepsi tastes like Coke and the Meatpacking District is a genuinely awesome place to hang out) and came out as a Do, which is really not our topic of conversation. It's like when your dad turns his cap to the side and starts rapping and is like, "This is what the kids are into nowadays, right? The hippity-hop?" And you're just like "uhhhhhhhh..."

8) Last Night's Party. Robot Rock (pt. 2) photo #7546: They say white is virginal, and there's really nothing in this photo to combat that assertion. Because check it out: those things are so friggin' tight that the dude should have the most raging moose knuckle since Bullwinkle emerged from his mama's coot. But have a look. Nada. Tough break, boss. You probably weren't going to use the thing, anyway.

7) The Cobrasnake. Superfuz Cinespace photo #2257: Even the foppish dandy she keeps around for makeup tips is like, "Um, honey? You're supposed to take the bib off after you're done with the lobster."

6) Misshapes. Nov. 12, 2005 photo #005: You keep telling yourself it's a wig. It has to be, right? There's no way that can be this dude's real hair. Something like that hasn't existed since '85, '86 maybe. You can't take your eyes off the fucking thing. But as the shock wears off, and your eyes wander down ... down ... down ... downwhoa now! Looks like the curtains match the drapes.

5) Misshapes. Nov. 12, 2005 photo #022: You keep telling yourself it's a wig. It has to be, right? There's no way that can be this dude's real hair. Something like that hasn't existed since '85, '86 maybe. You can't take your eyes off the fucking thing. But as the shock wears off, and your eyes wander down ... down ... down ... downwhoa now! Isn't that the dude who's porking Avril Lavigne?

4) The Cobrasnake. Superfuz Cinespace photo #2393: It's time for the return of everyone's favorite play-at-home Cobrasnake game! Are you ready to begin? OK, here's your first one: Homeless or Hipster? Check the solution key at the bottom of the column for the answer!

3) Misshapes. Nov. 12, 2005 photo #117: For those of you new to the Blue States Lose column, we have what you would call a minor obsession with a recurring Misshapes character we've dubbed "Leotard Fantastic." Leotard? Fantastic? Indeed. With a name like that, there's probably a million colorful images running through your mind about what the backstory is on this magnificent specimen. So, we could regale you with tales of times past, showering you with a cavalcade of delicious images, but what's the point? What's the point, friends, when we can just link you to this photo and have you gaze into the Magic Eye illusion of your nightmares, with your only solace being stolen glimpses of creamy hips. LET HIM SEAR YOUR BRAIN AND RENDER YOU BUT A EUNUCH. Leotard! FAAAANNNTAAAASSSSTIIIICCC!!!

2) The Cobrasnake. Superfuz Cinespace photo #2435: Look, we don't give a shit if the girl on the left was actually eating a vagina and the dude on the right was skinning a clinically-alive AIDS baby and eating its remaining white blood cells: that 'stache was getting on this fucking list.

1) The Cobrasnake. Jerk Store photo #0354: "On the count of three, I'm going to try really hard not to be a stereotype, OK? Alright, here we go: 1 ... 2 ... oh fuck, can we start again?"


Solution key: You're a douchebag.