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We sort of hate ourselves for not attending Tuesday night's Accessories Council Excellence awards, held at Cipriani's 42nd Street lair. The event was, it seems, the place to be if your attention is sharply focused on the movements of Jessica Simpson and the twitches of the twins Olsen — but, you know, we were feeling gassy and According to Jim was on, so we just stayed in.

What we missed in our absence: Jessica Simpson showed up sans faux-hubby Nick, despite having a seat reserved for him at dinner. Scandal-ish! And those Olsens were honored for their dedication to advancement in accessories, presumably for their fashion allegiance to wearing no less than 12 large necklaces at any given time, as well as their refusal to carry a Paddington bag without the accompanying Starbucks cup (duly noted by the astute Boldface) and box of Marlboro Reds.

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