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One might argue that anyone not smart enough to realize that signing up for a reality show is tantamount to waiving one's Constitutional right not to look like an asshole on television is barely competent enough to wrangle wayward shopping carts in the Ralphs parking lot, much less serve under Donald Trump in the ceremonial capacity awarded to Apprentice winners. Staring down the manicure on The Donald's Downsizing Pinky of Death stirs something in a dismissed candidate's soul, however, and compels boardroom chaff to whine about their depiction:

In an angry E-mail to "Apprentice" staff psychologist Liza Siegel, [fired Apprentice Mark "Markus"] Garrison asserted that "the intentionally libelous method of editing has resulted in the public's belief that I am an idiot...not to mention mentally ill....I do not intend to be [Mark Burnett Productions'] cannon fodder without a spirited fight."


Garrison, who has a collection of allegedly dodgy "Apprentice" video clips, claims at least two instances of tricked-up editing: In one, during a phone call from Trump, he says producers cobbled together his answers to different questions to make him sound windy and disjointed; in another, a shot of Garrison playing with a yo-yo - cut into a segment depicting a Learning Annex presentation, even though it occurred afterward - makes him look bored and disengaged.

But Trump told me: "I dealt with him a lot during the course of the show, and you see a lot of difficulty with Markus from the standpoint of talking too much. He seems like a nice guy, but, boy, he just wouldn't stop." Trump added: "I don't do the editing....My opinion is that Markus was treated accurately."

We're more than a little ashamed to note that we're still watching the show, and we have to admit that Markus was a bit roughed up. (Fair or not, the yo-yo bit was stroke of genius. Apparently, there was no way to get Markus to play with a Speak-N-Spell without arousing suspicion.) His constant stammering seemed to be unaltered, but we think the puckish editors may have stepped over the line by adding the helmet and dubbing in snippets of Corky's dialogue from Life Goes On in postproduction.