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We are still piecing together what transpired on The Apprentice: Donald last night, but from what we can tell, NBC's search for the next great industrialist has devolved into a contest that might more appropriately be named The Pervy Bigot.

Things got ugly when Capital Edge (not a razor, but a team name) chose the highly uncontroversial topic of "Sex in the Workplace" as the subject matter for a Learning Annex continuing education seminar they were assigned to deliver. According to NBC's website, openly gay candidate Clay then...

...talked about his homosexuality and about "checking out" coworkers and being slapped on the "ass" at work. According to Felisha, Clay was the "king of awkward moments" as his off-colored comments garnered many raised eyebrows.


Clay also managed to offend (Jewish candidate) Adam. Adam was talking about taking someone to dinner for a first date and said, "I have to feel really comfortable with the person, and I also have to be willing to spend the money." Clay chimed in with, "But remember, he's the shy, tight Jewish boy." Adam looked stunned, as did many people in the crowd.

Adam later confronted Clay about the slur in the boardroom (video available on Yahoo!). After a brief discussion about whether or not calling someone a "tight-assed Jew" is appropriate business conduct (Donald, Carolyn and George decide it is not), they quickly move on to furthur Adam-bashing.

But the best is yet to come. Television Without Pity summarizes it for us:

Donald Trump has some kind of neurological event and goes completely apeshit. And I mean to say that you have never seen this kind of behavior in your life. He first abruptly asks Clay if he's gay, acts stunned that Clay is gay, ascertains that Clay is therefore not attracted to women, clarifies that this Venn diagram excludes even women such as Alla, and then explains to us that this is why restaurants have menus: while Trump likes steak, other people like spaghetti.


Later, without even stopping to breathe almost, he: asks Adam straight up if he's a virgin (he is, but won't admit it), counsels him not to be afraid of sex because it is "not a big deal," posits that Adam will ten years from now be more "comfortable with sex," shares that sex has gotten him into "a lot of trouble" and cost him "a lot of money," discusses at length whether Adam is "soft" or "hard," and wraps up by telling Adam that there's "nothing like" sex, and that he should look forward to having it one day, in the creepiest, ickiest, most pervuncular way imaginable.

We imagine Trump is right: it will take at least a good decade for virgin Adam to shake off the image of Trump placing his hair on its gold-laquered pedestal and giving Melania an "injection of outside capital." In fact, the image of a naked, engorged Trump is so profoundly, vividly disturbing, it may itself cause a national, reverse baby-boom.