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The rules of media celebrity are fairly simple: You fluff a boldface name, you smack them down, and repeat until said individual's celebrity can no longer withstand another cycle. Martha Stewart is the perfect example, as her post-prison comeback might be fizzling. Her company's shares dropped 16% yesterday and her version of The Apprentice continues to blow. Stewart's magazines are doing well, but not enough to cover other losses.

And what, you might ask, is causing Martha such pain? Obviously, it's Apprentice EP and reality-television darklord Mark Burnett, whose payment perks are so large that it's hurting poor Martha's company. Not that we're surprised — Burnett tends to be the source of most of our world's pain. But Martha could prevent further financial damage if she'd just get rid of Burnett. We're sure the contract is messy, but we know for a fact that she knows how to make a rat-poison-and-rhubarb pie.

Toxic Martha [NYP]