This image was lost some time after publication.

• When incarcerated drunkard Michael Lohan heard daughter Lindsay's lyrics in her new "Why, Daddy, Why" single Confessions of a Broken Heart, he was brought to tears. And a nation fell to its knees. So as to be closer to the toilet. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Leonardo DiCaprio buys up the 10th floor of Richard Meier's third Perry Street building, brings Giselle with him. Good thing: The West Village was getting a little thin on celebs. [Page Six]
• The widow of 1950s producer Fred Friendly concedes that George Clooney is much more handsome than her late husband. True love never dies, it just sticks its foot in its mouth. [R&M]
• America's sweetheart Katie Couric gets naughty with landscape painter Stephen Hannock. How anyone can get naughty with a landscape painter is beyond us, but we bet Couric was a Bob Ross fan. [Page Six]
• Roger Ailes jumps on the TomKat bandwagon and discovers — get this — that Katie Holmes has gotten really weird. [Fox411]