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• After a decade in court, the battle for the estate of drug-bunny Anna Nicole Smith's late husband will now go before the Supreme Court. Smith will argue her case by taking off her shirt and handing out bottles of TrimSpa to any interested justices. [Page Six]
• Older actresses hate Paris Hilton, presumably because they're old and don't look so cute in pink. Jealous Debbies, all of them. [Scoop]
• Celebrity marriages are dying at an increasingly rapid rate, presumably because no one can keep their pants on. [Page Six]
• WE CAN'T GET ON THE DAILY NEWS WEBSITE! WHERE'S LLOYD GROVE?! DID RUSH EAT MOLLOY!? CRISIS!