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• Courtney Love's mother, Linda Carroll, is selling out her pill-popping daughter in a tell-all book. None too surprisingly, we learn that Courtney took psychedelics at age 4, was in therapy at age 6, discovered porn at 9 and booze at 12. Who knew the hooch would come last? [Page Six]
• Since cokey supermodel Kate Moss isn't able to promote much of anything besides South American natural resources, maybe the internet gambling industry will take her in. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Lizzie Grubman's PR firm is promoting Range Rover — because, you know, she didn't run over white trash with one of those. [Page Six]
• Actor George Clooney and Fox News robot Bill O'Reilly kind of kiss and make-up, which means that we're already bored just writing about it. [R&M]
• Charlize Theron was dealt pretty cards in life, and we're just going to have to accept her aesthetic superiority. [Scoop (2nd item)]