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• Actress Vivica Fox insults rapper 50 Cent's handling of their relationship, deeming it to be "ghetto love." As if she expected anything more of a man who considers a bulletproof vest part of a three-piece suit. [Scoop]
• Determined to convince Jennifer Lopez of the evils of fur, PETA-loving Beatle-wife Heather Mills McCartney personally marched a video of animals being skinned alive over to Lopez's Sweetface clothing offices. Alas, Lopez wasn't around for a viewing. We doubt she even knows she has a Sweetface clothing line. [Lowdown]
• French tabloids regurgitate old quotes from Desperate Housewives' Eva Longoria to make it seem as if she's cheating on her basketballing boy-toy Tony Parker. How appalling; our American gossip columns would never do such a thing. [Page Six]
• Director Guy Ritchie shoves lamb roast in Madonna's face, to which his wife responds by dumping couscous in his lap. All this loving laughter, however, does not change the fact that his latest film reportedly sucks. [R&M]