Gawker T-Shirts: Vote Now for Your New Skeet Rag
It's no secret that you, our readers, are far more intelligent than we could ever hope to be. That's why you all have real jobs, whereas your darling editors toil away in a subterranean landfill, living for little more than our daily handle of flammable 5 O'Clock vodka. You, however, are smart, savvy, cosmopolitan, genius sexpots. Our headgear-wearing asses can hold nary a candle to your smooth, supple derrieres.
It's because of your obvious superiority that for our next round of the now legendary Gawker Media t-shirts, we want your input. We spent an afternoon with our buddy Muscadet and came up with a slew of slogans, and now we're asking you to vote for which Gawktastic words of wisdom you'd most like to bear across your heaving bosom. Perhaps you feel like telling the world It's not whoring if you do it for free; maybe you're more the type to proclaim that Vogue is a food group.
If we could make t-shirts for all of our slogans, we would, but we just don't trust ourselves in such an emotional situation — it's like picking your favorite illegitmate child. So it's your job to vote now for your favorites, and the most popular picks from each category will be thus slapped on only the finest cotton, ready for your purchase. If you're feeling extra proactive, you can even submit your own design (and you just might get paid more than our interns, too).
Vote now, and exercise your right to the fruits of sweatshop labor, tailored exactly to your demands!
