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Bad news for downtown scenesters wanting a $12 cup of tea and a vegan muffin: At approximately 9 AM this morning, someone was stabbed on Rivington Street between Orchard and Ludlow, just outside of downtown technobaldie Moby's Teany teahouse.

Investigators have blocked the area off; according to an officer on the scene, the victim is currently in the hospital. (NYPD wouldn't comment on the severity of the injuries or, really, much else other than it's not "yet" a homicide and they're still looking for witnesses.) We can confirm only that the weapon was not a heroin-infused cashew butter sandwich and Moby himself is not yet a suspect.

Not that we're trying to be your source for breaking news or anything, but somebody's got to cover the violent crime committed in broad daylight right in front of a popular celebrity-owned vegan hipster cafe beat.

[Tipped off by the commenters at Ultragrrrl. Blind leading the blind, people.]

Update: We're hearing that the victim has died at the hospital. Be careful out there, kids.