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• Upon hearing that Paris Hilton's latest cinematic venture was slated to flop on the same day as that of Nicole Richie, Team Nicole pushes up the release of Kids in America to October 21. That's what It's an exciting race to see who can shamelessly promote themselves first! [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson fans rip her clothes off while she innocently tries to shop. Apparently, the starlet didn't enjoy this, and her lack of enthusiasm sends father Joe into a violent, Jesus-fuelled rage. [R&M (2nd item)]
• After Cannabis Culture editor Marc Emery was arrested in Vancouver for selling millions of dollars' worth of the good stuff, maybe High Times might want to reduce the number of seed-selling ads in their pages. [Lowdown]
• Fridays are for Friedman, and Roger is all atwitter for the release of Stevie Wonder's latest album. Pray for a Grammy, Rog. Just pray. [Fox411]