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Hi, I'm special Gawker guest-contributor Burt Reynolds. I tried to get in on that Huffington Post, but I slapped Norman Mailer and now Arianna won't return my calls. Shit, this is the next best thing, right? Anyway, I'm here to tell you who's hot, who's not, and why he or she should be bitch-slapped by me, Burt Reynolds.

-Jami Bernard, film critic — Sure, it's a decent review, not that I care about that critical bullshit, but any critic who starts off with "Full disclosure: I thought 'The Waterboy' was funny" needs to be slapped by me, Burt Reynolds.
-Transit advocate Gene Russianoff — So it's this story about those MetroCards, right? I bought one of those little fuckers two, three years ago. Never used it. I got $40 bucks in that thing, and I throw it away when it expires, like a sucker. Gene here says it's my problem the MTA didn't tell me I could transfer the value. "I have a typical attitude toward tourists: They're on their own," he says. Yeah, we'll see who's on their own when Burt Reynold's comes a-slappin'.
-Yuri Slezkine, author of The Jewish Century — Don't get me wrong, I liked the book. But it contains an embarrassing misreading of Marx's "On the Jewish Question" that just smacks of sloppy research. Mr. Slezkine, you will be respectfully slapped by me, Burt Reynolds. -AP