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You will wear shades of salmon, carnation, fuschia, and blush. You will pretend to enjoy looking like cotton candy.
 A reader reports that right now, in an effort to ensure that the midtown experience remain as hellish as possible, the Times Square subway station is currently populated with young women "bedecked in gag-inducing pink knits" handing out roses to confused straphangers. This can only be an evil tentacle of Sarah Jessica Parker's new Gap campaign, reaching out to girls with pearls in their mouths; a subtle, full-page pink ad in yesterday's Times hinted at today's marketing move. Spring is here and you motherfuckers going to be pretty, whether you like it or not.

More significantly, roses are clearly THE hot promotional tool du jour: Friday saw minions handing out roses for ABC's new John Stamos vehicle, Jake in Progress. If Madison Avenue loves you like we think they do, tomorrow's commuters will be assaulted with roses promoting Pat O'Brien's favorite malt liquor.