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We barely slept a wink last night, as last night's Black Edition of the Oscars had our blood racing with its edgy edginess and nouveau newness! Did you see how they lined up some of the low-level nominees on the stage? Breathtaking. Or when other "unimportant" nominees were presented their Oscars without having to leave the comfort of their seats? Stunning. And ooooh, Chris Rock really stirred things up when he told the audience, "Sit your asses down." (Thanks to Matt Drudge for dutifully reprinting this quote twice as his headline — once as "Sit You Asses Down." Direct translations are so helpful!)

Burning questions remain: Did Star Jones eat Joan Rivers before or after they went to Morton s? Was Dustin Hoffman drunk? Is it time for a Martin Scorsese suicide watch? And after already sacrificing Best Actress to Hilary Swank in 1999, how long will two-time loser Annette Bening wait before she issues a fatwa demanding that butchy bitch s head be sent back to the trailer park from whence it came?
More coverage: Defamer s Biggest Night: LiveBlogging The Oscars [Defamer]
Baby Is Oscar Heavyweight With 4 Wins [AP]