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It's always entertaining when a couple of A-listers puff up their chests, unzip their flies, and whip 'em our for an old-fashioned dick-measuring contest. Russell Crowe and George Clooney lay down their inches across the pages of GQ and US Weekly (we hope they don't leave any curlies on an Armani ad or a Brad Pitt photospread—we hate to see that kind of needless collateral damage):

“I don’t do ads for suits in Spain like George Clooney or cigarettes in Japan like Harrison,” the temperamental actor told GQ magazine. “It’s kind of sacrilegious, a contradiction of the contract with your audience. DeNiro advertising American Express — gee whiz.”

“I’m glad he set us straight,” Clooney quipped to the new issue of Us.

Then, making a tongue-in-cheek reference to Crowe’s band 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, he added, “Because Harrison, Bob and I were putting a band together called Grunting for 30 Feet, and that would also fall under the heading of ‘bad use of celebrity.’ Thanks for the heads up.”

Watch for Round Two unfold in the pages of Good Housekeeping and Cat Fancy with Clooney responding to Crowe accusations that he's a "nancy boy" by claiming that he's actually the father of Crowe's baby.