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I absorbed so much this week, I don't even know where to start. For instance, there are some things even tabloids won't print (like, say, the name of the deposed Vogue assistant who came between Proenza Schouler—c'mon, let Derek have his moment of fame). Another lesson: posing as Page Six reporter Chris Wilson will not get you into a show. I also learned to avoid Phillip Bloch, who angrily said he raised money for "UNICEF or something." And then there are those expressions of sympathy that some people won't touch with a ten-foot pole. To wit, an overheard dialogue:

Friend: A guy died on my flight this morning, my flight from LA.
Fabian: Isn't that awful.
Friend: Wait, it gets worse. He died in coach.
Fabian: That's awful. That's not even funny. He died in COACH? That's no way to go, man. Can you imagine? [laughs]
Friend: [laughing] Stop it! You're killing me!