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Now that we've cleared up who's in the running for the 2004 Academy Awards, let's turn our attention to a clear contender for 2005, Alone in the Dark, starring Tara Reid and Christian Slater. The reviews are stunning!

·One of those rare instances of a movie being so bad ... it's still really bad. [Hollywood Reporter]

·So inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash. [NYT]

·Just Tara-ble. [NYP]

·No better than whatever you might pick up while wearing a blindfold at Blockbuster, even if you happen to reach into a trash can. [NYDN]

·Reid seems to have learned each long sentence in segments, so she wouldn't be overtaxed. [Charlotte Observer]

·Think of the lamest horror movie you've ever seen. Now think of Tara Reid in the lamest horror movie you've ever seen. See how much worse it could have been? [Boston Globe]

Since we know what you're about to do, we'll save you a few seconds of work: showtimes available here.
Alone In The Dark [Metacritic]