Don't ever let it be said that we at Gawker don't fucking love our readers to death — because we do. Where else would get totally random bits such as this:

Did you guys know Paris Hilton has size 10 feet? And she's only 5'8" (and a half). I found a model card from Ford. I don't know... I just had to tell somebody that she's like freakin' Bozo the Clown.

Seriously, we adore you. These are the items that keep us off the painkillers.