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To: Donald Trump's Toupee
From: Donald Trump's Face
Re: The Forehead

Okay, toupee, we've put this nicely, and now we're going to get all harsh: move it the fuck back. The forehead is getting pissy. The eyebrows are already mobilizing to rip your shit right off the scalp, so don't even try occupying any more territory on top of The Trump. The forehead wanted us to tell you to fuck off but we're giving you one last warning. So kick it back a notch or Trump's head is gonna look like fuckin' Baghdad in springtime.

[Update: a big fight rages over Trump's head: combover or toupee? I'm not unconvinced that this is the world premiere of the combover toupee, which might perhaps be Trump's greatest gift to the world. Take heart, Rudy Giuliani! As you lose your hair, you can now retain your trademark style.]
LA's Red Over Trump Green [NY Post]