For many, "Zen" is a vague and foreign concept, as impermeable as the rock over which the river flows. Zen koans, those mystifying stories— what do they mean? And why? Gawker, an internet blog, is here to assist in the process of enlightenment.

The koan: "In Dreamland"

"Our schoolmaster used to take a nap every afternoon," related a disciple of Soyen Shaku. "We children asked him why he did it and he told us: 'I go to dreamland to meet the old sages just as Confucius did.' When Confucius slept, he would dream of ancient sages and later tell his followers about them.

"It was extremely hot one day so some of us took a nap. Our schoolmaster scolded us. 'We went to dreamland to meet the ancient sages the same as Confucius did,' we explained. 'What was the message from those sages?' our schoolmaster demanded. One of us replied: 'We went to dreamland and met the sages and asked them if our schoolmaster came there every afternoon, but they said they had never seen any such fellow.'"

The enlightenment: The schoolmaster is a pedophile.

This has been "Zen Koans Explained." Previously: The Muddy Road

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