Wikipedia's Anti-Full House Agenda and More of the Best Articles Wikipedia Deleted This Week
Another week, another pile of encyclopedic gems Wikipedia’s heartless editors decided to cull from the herd. Luckily for you, we’re not letting them off that easy.
In this week’s back of unrighteously deleted Wikipedia articles, we bring you a maybe not real political party, a definitely not real high school, and a “royal family in exile” that, real or not (it’s not), will forever be the king and queen of our hearts. Long live the Roberts clan.
Skype High
According to the article, Skype High is a high school in Mayodan, North Carolina that serves “approximately 3 students (2 students from Florida and 1 student from the District of Columbia) in grades 9 through 12” and is open from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. According to context clues and the fact that I was a tweenage idiot myself once, Skype High is a game three 10 year-olds play as they chat online late at night.
Best Line:
In February 2013, another high school was constructed in order to reduce the overpopulation caused by Robin.
Why it got deleted:
As one editor explained, the article is an “Obvious Hoax.” Or as another editor (who is definitely not Robin how dare you suggest that) put it more indignantly: “delete this moronic article. its crap [sic].”
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Oh my god, Robin, get over it.
Nathan Nishiguchi
Nathan played Stephanie Tanner’s husband (in love, if not in law) on Full House.
Best Line:
The article is inexcusably short, so we will reprint it in full:
Nathan Nishiguchi (June 18, 1980) is an American child actor from the San Francisco Bay Area. He is best known for his portrayal of Harry Takayama in the sitcom Full House.
Why it got deleted:
Because Nathan was only in Full House for “five episodes” and “had virtually no other acting jobs” and “no one has any idea who he is.”
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Until this past week, this article had existed since 2007. That’s nine years! Nine years of memories, love, and testimonies to the bonds of matrimony just washed down the drain. As long as hope exists in this world, so should the page for Nathan Nishiguchi.
Zo National Region Development Party
A 9-month-old political party in Myanamar that may or may not actually exist.
Best Line:
Not a single line so much as:
Why it got deleted:
Apparently despite 91 distinct parties being listed in Myanmar’s 2015 elections, the Zo National Region Development Party was not one of them. What’s more, the vast majority of any ostensible “sourcing” actually just consisted of links back to the same (now deleted) Facebook post.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
The oath explicitly warned against this exact thing (emphasis ours):
Zo, (I was born with a Zo name, live by Zo name,
and I will die in the name of Zo. The Zo will never die.
Do not go against the Zo people and the land.
LONG LIVE ZO AND THE LAND.
(God bless Zo Party; the Zo National Region Development Party.)
Royal Government von Hessen in Exile
Apparently, in 2013, the “Roberts family” realized they were the only known blood descendants of the royal family of Hessen-Darmstadt. None of it is what most would call “sensical” or “coherent,” so I’ll allow the Roberts family to explain:
Memvers of this family run a Government in Exile in the United States, based on the principles of a Kingdom. They also beleive that, in 1918 Prussia, the Empire which held Hessen as a Grand Duchy had fallen. The Grand Duchy having still been in existence (till it’s own abolishment a month later) now was at full autonomy. Since the Grand Duchy was no longer under the control of Prussia it was free and had it not been abolished in 1918 it would have eventually elevated to a kingdom, because of it’s absolute autonomy. They dispute the claim of they’re distant cousin, Donatus, Landgrave of Hesse to the former throne because of his indirect lineage with the house of Hessen-Darmstadt.
Best Line:
Though this may be cheating, the best bit comes not from the Wikipedia page, but from the Royal Family’s own Facebook page:
This line, however, is also very good:
In 2015 at a reunion for all recognised descendants of the former royal house of von Hessen und bei Rhein, Terry Roberts was proclaimed as head of the royal family and as the Konig (king) von Hessen, his son Clint, was invested as the Crown-Prince or Kronprinz of Hessen. His daughter Lorie, was proclaimed posthumously, the Princess Royal.
Why it got deleted:
According to the editors of Wikipedia, absolutely none of it is real.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Except of course it’s real! They have a website on Weebly.
Honorable Mentions:
- Included solely for the following line: “She has claimed to love the bar “Kipp’s” because of its vibe. [1]”
