Today in Florida Man
He's been so, so busy. Here's a roundup of his latest hijinks:
Florida Man Hops Out of Car to Knock Down 70-Year-Old at Crosswalk
Florida Man Tries to Rob Convenience Store Twice With the Same Toy Gun
Florida Man Pours Hot Sauce Over Ill 3-Month-Old Puppy to Shut it Up
(The puppy is fucking adorable and is expected to recover, thank Jove.)
Florida Man Is Shocked to Learn He's Getting a Medal of Honor
Florida Man Calls His Ex 145 Times in 11 Hours, Threatens to Blow Up Her Office
Florida Man Linked by DNA to 23-Year-Old Murder Case
Florida Man Streaks Through Upscale Neighborhood
Florida Man Streaks Across Causeway From Beach to Miami
Florida Man Overcomes Fear of Spiders By Tattooing Spider on His Face
(Blind) Florida Man Gets His Guns Back After Shooting Friend to Death
Florida Man Is Running For Congress at Age 101
Also:
Florida Woman Fails Sobriety Test While Wearing No Pants or Underwear
Florida Woman Calls 911 for Sex: "I Haven't Been Penetrated In Years"
Several months ago, a great commenter suggested that we start a Florida-only Kinja called Peninsulated. (Whoever you were, show yourself and take your credit!) We're not in Kinja-buildin' territory yet, but we're gonna start using that tag. 'Cause damn, Florida.