Lost child Thomas Friedman enjoys few things more than penning a good ol' paean to a hyperconnected corporation. Yet Thomas Friedman also has a reputation to maintain— as a person that dumb people think is a smart foreign policy thinker. What happens when these two things clash?

We found out yesterday, when Tom Friedman decided to write a Standard Corporate Blowjob column about Airbnb. The twist? There were all those, like, more important things happening in the world. How will our hero (Tom Friedman) balance this delicate situation? By slapping an italicized "intro" paragraph on his column at the last moment!

From Ukraine to the Middle East, some bad actors — Hamas, Vladimir Putin and Israeli settlers to name but a few — are trying to bury the future with the past and divide people. Instead of focusing on them even more, I prefer to write about a company that is burying the past with the future, and actually bringing strangers together.

What follows is a Standard Corporate Blowjob column about AirBnB—including the phrase "Airbnb understood that the world was becoming hyperconnected."

Dear Gawker Readers: wow, there sure are lots of big news stories these days. Planes going down, nations at war, dying people across the world. Nevertheless, here is a post about Thomas Friedman. I love writing about this guy. I want you to know I know about all that other stuff though :)

[Photo: Getty]