Myrtle Beach Police Officer William Heine may have written the best arrest report of all time after he arrested 22-year-olds Shaina Leigh Zarko and Brittany Michelle Eisman at The Aquarius, a "family hotel".

The Smoking Gun obtained his 16-word disorderly conduct arrest report that reads, "Both share a baby daddy. They locked horns like bulls on the stairs to the Aquarius."

[image via the Smoking Gun]