The 10 Best Articles Wikipedia Deleted This Week
For whatever reason, this week’s collection of Wikipedia refuse is perhaps the most bizarre set yet. Put another way, this week’s articles are fucking phenomenal.
In this week’s set of unrighteously deleted Wikipedia articles, we bring you a creepy little town(?), a creepier alien cover-up, a possible murder plot on a vivacious, young centenarian, and beloved children’s characters Dora and Caillou all-grown up and playing a different kind of doctor. Regarding the latter: We are very, very sorry.
Olentangy Commons
Olentangy is a bizarre “planned development” neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio that, at least according to the photos, comes to us straight out of the uncanny valley.
It’s not entirely clear whether Olentangy actually consists of more than one residential building, but the photo below apparently depicts the “eastern side of Olentangy Commons.”
See that tree over there? That’s the murderin’ tree.
Best line:
Not a line so much as the entire “Entertainment” section, which contains the following list:
Gallo’s Tap Room
Banana Leaf Restaurant
Tandoori Grill
Min-Ga Korean Restaurant
Lashish The Greek
Gallo’s Tap Room
Kenny Road Market
Columbus Asia Market Inc
C A M Group
Apna Bazaar
The Apothecary Shops
Olentangy’s illustrious education offerings are also worth noting, particularly that of Giggles and Grins Childcare Inc, a “licensed child learning center inside Olentangy Commons.” Here’s the front of the building.
Which seems like a wonderful, happy place (Inc.), and we’re sure the lack of any visible children doesn’t mean a thing.
Every photo is incredible and/or deeply upsetting in its own, special way, though, so we’ve included them all for your perusal below.
Why it got deleted:
The article appears to be largely “promotional” according to Wikipedia, which is a very weird way to refer to something that is clearly a warning to all who dare enter.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
STAY AWAY FROM OLENTANGY
The Misadventures of Dora
A (generously labeled) “animated movie” based on “the GoAnimate series The Awful Life of Caillou.” The budget, if we are to believe the article’s creator and why wouldn’t we, was roughly $50 million—a number that’s dwarfed by the astonishing $380.4 million the 35-minute “film” took in at the box office.
Best line:
Starring the voices of David, Kayla, Eric, Julie, Shy Girl, Kimberly, Diesel, Kate, Joey, Dave, Kidaroo, Princess, Jennifer, and other guest stars.
Why it got deleted:
The film is (allegedly!!) little more than an amateur fan cartoon made using a program that is “designed to allow business people with no background in animation to quickly and easily create animated videos.”
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Amateur fan cartoon? We’ll let you be the judge of that.
It is our objective opinion that this movie deserves every penny of that $350 million.
Montreal Bolide
On the evening of November 26, 2013, parts of Canada were witness to a blue flash in the sky followed directly by a “loud booming noise” According to unspecified scientists, “the eyewitness reports and data from acoustic detectors were consistent with a meteoroid entering the atmosphere.”
Yeah, okay. Sure thing “scientists.”
Best line:
Cloudy weather blocked the view of cameras placed to photograph meteors.
How convenient.
Why it got deleted:
According to Wikipedia’s editors, this article was deleted because “meteors are not inherently notable” and “this did no damage and had no lasting effect.” Which is exactly what They’d want you to say.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
The New World Order can hide the Truth, but they can’t make it go away. Scary for Montreal, eye-opening for the World.
Irmgard von Stephani
Our dearly departed Irmgard was once the oldest living person until her death at a spry 112 years and 5 days old.
Best line:
She became the oldest living German resident at age 109 on 22 July 2005, with the death of 110-year-old Frieda Müller.
Frieda always was a quitter.
Why it got deleted:
Again, the monsters editing Wikipedia for free in the dead of night don’t think that sweet, beloved Irmgard was notable.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Everything in the article seems aboveboard until the last few lines:
When turning 112, she had moved into an old people’s facility just five months before. Despite being in seemingly good health, Von Stephani died not long after her last birthday, aged 112 years 15 days.
“In seemingly good health.” In seemingly good health. What—or who—could have possibly caused a lively, health 112-year-old to lose the beautiful light in her eyes so suddenly? Was it up-and-coming 111-year-old Elsa Tauser who would ascend to the throne the second Irmgard died? How could Elsa have possibly lived with herself (for the roughly 24 hours that she continued to live after Irmgards passing)?
All this and more, next season, on Serial.
Jeff Smith (meteorologist)
Jeff Smith works for a local news station in New York City as a meteorologist. A noble profession.
Best line:
Huge congrats to Jeff!
Why it got deleted:
Apparently, “just” being a meteorologist doesn’t qualify one for an article on Wikipedia.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Without meteorologists, we’d have no rain, no snow, no sun—we would be dead. For these reasons, Gawker Media stands with Jeff.
Honorable mentions:
Books written in unconventional ways
