You’re walking to school in the morning, minding your own business, smoking your own weed, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. It’s some old guy in a suit. It’s a cop. Oh my god, it’s the most powerful cop in all of New York City.

Yesterday in front of the NYPD’s Civilian Complaint Review Board, a police captain pled guilty to pointing his gun at a pair of tweenage boys who were playing tag in their Bed Stuy street in 2013. He received just 30 days of lost vacation time for threatening deadly force against two innocent children. You might think he got off pretty easy. His union does not.

A man pushed to the ground by a police officer because he was locked out of his apartment. A cop who punched someone in the face for riding his bike on the sidewalk, and another who pulled his gun on a man for filming him. These are a few of the horror stories contained within a new report on NYPD use of force.

Next time you have your ass handed to you by a member of New York’s finest—be it a hotheaded rookie who plays by his own rules or a grizzled veteran who’s too old for this shit—you’ll have the comfort of knowing that the officer is under strict orders to carefully report every aspect of the smackdown. Will he actually do so accurately? That’s a good question.

According to a report from the New York Daily News, a 25-year-old nursing student from Seattle is suing the NYPD after alleging earlier this year that two police officers—who had been assigned to investigate her rape case—got her drunk in a hotel room and sexually assaulted her.

Responding to widespread condemnation of the NYPD officer who wrongly tackled tennis star James Blake last week, Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association President Patrick Lynch sent a blistering letter to reporters on Tuesday characterizing their criticism as “irresponsible, unjust and un-American.”

“I don’t think he deserves to have a badge,” former tennis star James Blake said of the New York City cop who wrongly tackled and handcuffed him on Wednesday. “I hope he can never do that again under the shield of the New York Police Department.”

On Monday, a plainclothes NYPD officer tackled and handcuffed a black man who allegedly looked like a credit card fraud suspect, but was actually tennis star James Blake (who is not a suspect). On Friday, TMZ obtained video of the takedown, which reportedly left Blake cut and bruised.

On Monday, a black man named James Blake was assaulted by a New York City police officer outside his east Midtown hotel. The officer executed what his commissioner later called a “fast approach” takedown on Blake—grabbed his arm, threw him to the ground, and cuffed him—and leaving him cut, bruised and in cuffs for 10 to 15 minutes, all for a crime he didn’t commit. The only difference between Blake’s experience and that of countless other black men in New York is that he received an apology.

The NYPD officer who tackled and handcuffed retired tennis player James Blake has been placed on desk duty in the wake of his headline-generating mistake, the New York Times reports.

A Bill Bratton profile in this week’s New Yorker reveals little that we didn’t already know about the NYPD commissioner. What we do hear about, over and over, is the ongoing commitment of Bratton and Mayor Bill de Blasio to “broken windows” policing—which Bratton pledges will be around for as long as he and de Blasio are in power.

A bystander accidentally shot by an undercover officer with the New York City Police Department during a botched firearms sting has died, police said on Saturday.

A New York police sergeant accused of having sex with a 15-year-old girl he met online has committed suicide, The New York Times reports.

A Flickr account operated by the union representing New York Police Department sergeants has spent the last week or so prolifically shaming the city’s most destitute residents. So far, the Sergeants Benevolent Association has posted 241 photos of homeless New Yorkers, some alongside “funny” captions about their subjects.

NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton wants to put you in jail and make sure you stay there. Well, only if you’re a bad guy. Good guys—you’re OK. No worries. Bad guys—get your naughty butts to the slammer.

Daniel Pantaleo, the NYPD officer who put Eric Garner in a fatal chokehold a year ago this week, who has been stripped of his gun and shield and is working a desk job, wants to be a cop again, his lawyer told the New York Daily News.

Citing police sources, the New York Daily News reports a veteran NYPD sergeant has been suspended after allegedly splashing semen on the leg of a co-worker he “liked” at One Police Plaza.

Fun.

On Thursday morning, during a radio appearance on Hot 97’s “Ebro in the Morning” show, hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons called Mayor Bill de Blasio a “punk,” and also a “bitch,” over his perceived deference to Governor Andrew Cuomo and Commissioner Bill Bratton.

A 26-year-old New York City man says he plans to sue the city for unlawful arrest after NYPD officers pulled him over in the Bronx and refused to give him any reason for the stop. Ben Farias was ordered out of the car, but he left his phone in the cupholder to record the search. The video includes one cop admitting “I don’t know why we pulled him over.”