Dear Internet: If you really wanted to see photos of screenwriter Diablo Cody's nipples, you could've just read her old City Pages blog, where all of them came from. Honestly, people. [Defamer] (Clarification: we're bitching about EGOTASTIC, to whom we did not wish to deliver more traffic, not our friends at Defamer. Also the internet as a whole.)

It's quite the week of firsts for Diablo Cody. She won her first Oscar, she became embroiled in her first red carpet scandal and now, the first nude pictures of her have hit The Internets. Probably not surprising, considering her famed and well-marketed history as a stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter. A few of the more SFW pics, including her faithful recreation of Ali Larter's whipped cream bikini shot from Varsity Blues (somewhere, a Vanity Fair photog is kicking himself for not thinking of this idea first), appear after the jump.

As we pointed out yesterday, Lindsay Lohan's nude body [pic via New York] is only interesting insofar as it generates lofty intellectual analysis. What underlying effect might the photo shoot have on Lindsay, her career, and American culture as a whole? Radar rounded up reaction to these questions from several esteemed media observers (including Ronn Torossian), but we decided to turn to the world's foremost experts in these matters: the Gawker commenters. After the jump, five incisive observations from two commenters that summarize—in verse, no less!— this sordid moment in our history.

Click to viewAh, President's Day. We cannot think of a greater way to celebrate the memory of Millard Fillmore and James Garfield than to spend the next ten or fifteen minutes (hours?) rifling through New York's nude photoshoot with Lindsay Lohan. Just last week, we were celebrating Lindsay's new Sober Face, but even we must admit that it pales in comparison to her new Sober Nipples. Which, we might add, are on full display (!) in two of the spread's ten slides. As far as career rejuvenation stunts are concerned, we are predicting that this tastefully titillating homage to Marilyn Monroe's "Last Sitting" is poised to sit alongside Drew Barrymore's role in Poison Ivy in the pantheon of greatest breast-baring comebacks of all-time. A few of the tamer (but still NSFW!) selections follow after the jump; the rest can be found in this week's edition of New York. You have been warned.