I can’t find a picture of Paul Moran that I’m within my rights to post on this blog, so I’m going to tell you two things about him, and you’re going to imagine what he looks like. First, he was arrested recently for going fully nude at a place called “mushroom beach.” Second, when asked about it by a reporter, he answered, “I can’t let anyone kill my vibe.”

When your wife catches you blowing a dude on a boat off a Florida nude beach, the correct response is to immediately apologize, and, once the situation has cooled, have a frank, open conversation about sexuality. Not recommended: throwing her off of the back of your jet ski and leaving her for dead.