Cocaine and nuclear weapons: A good mix? That’s what an official probe into coke abuse by “about a dozen airmen” at the F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming will investigate, the AP reports.

A little over a week ago, North Korea claimed to have successfully launched a ballistic missile from an undersea submarine. Such a launch would have been a major step forward for the hermit country, if it had actually happened. But according to German aerospace experts, the photos supposedly proving North Korea’s technological prowess only proved that, once again, North Korea is shit at Photoshop.

In move that seems to cater the gossip set interested in international relations and possible nuclear war, North Korean officials told Russian officials to consider evacuating the Russian embassy in Pyongyang and also warned the UK, that the safety of their diplomats "cannot be guaranteed." German officials called a meeting with the North Korean ambassador to express their "serious concern."

Thousands of Verizon customers across New Jersey received a terrifying text at 12:26 p.m. today from the National Emergency Alert System — an "extreme alert" message that led them to think the country was under attack.

How can we fix global warming? (Assuming it's not a plot hatched by public employee unions to force sharia law on the U.S.) One solution, promoted egghead "scientists," would be to stop driving cars and focus on renewable energy sources. But new computer models suggest a much easier, and far more fun, solution: A nuclear war!

You know how there are some things that you should just never, ever lose? Like your grandmother's ashes, or, say, the authorization codes for the president to order a nuclear strike? Well apparently someone did that a few years ago.