Thanks to Christian anti-gay activist George Rekers and his Boy Friday, Lucien, everyone is talking about male prostitutes. What should you do if you want to hire a hustler? A handy guide below!

A new study shows sleeping less than six hours a day makes you 12% likelier to die before age 65. Sleeping more than nine hours ups your chances of dying prematurely by 30%. Red Bull is now a life saver!

Text messaging is one of the greatest advances in communication since, well, the telephone and email. That said, it's still a fledgling medium and some people need to learn how to use it without being a total jackass.

If all the noise around today's iPad debut leaves you baffled, fear not: We've oscillated between giddy excitement and jaded cynicism ourselves, and can offer this handy list of reasons to embrace — or diss — the Apple tablet computer.

Magazines that spring to life with video. Gorgeous, instantly-updated newspapers. Custom-tailored broadcasts. The iPad could revolutionize news along these lines, which helps explain why it makes people so giddy. The new era begins with these nine news apps.

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Tumblr founder and skinny white wunderkind David Karp posed a question to his followers today: "Can I use the word 'nigga' if I'm quoting a song?"

So, maybe you heard that Chile is slightly shaken up as of this morning. An 8.8 earthquake some are noting as "100 times more powerful" than Haiti's hit this morning. Damage and deaths are still being assessed. Meanwhile, in Hawaii:

While we're fine with people using the word "retard" liberally, there are some words, phrases, and linguistic constructions that are so tired and lazy they need to be ended. Here are a few things that drive us mad.

If we learned one lesson from the Kevin-Smith-is-too-fat-to-fly debacle it is that we have outgrown our chairs. That's right, America, it's time for all new seating in planes, theaters, cinemas, and the like. Who should pay for it? Fat people.

Stephen Walt has advice for people who plan on writing something controversial (critical of Israel), on dealing with the reaction you'll receive from certain people (The New Republic). It is sort of the foreign policy version of this.

The TLC is introducing some newfangled way to share taxi cabs during rush hour. Clearly, we're going to have to come up with some sort of social contract to make these cheap rides bearable. Here is a good start.

Facebook banned a fan page set up by a radio host supporting Joe Stack, who for some reason people don't want to call a domestic terrorist, which he was. Assholes and crazies, "The South Will Rise Again" is still there.

It's no big secret that today is Gawker EIC Gabriel Snyder's last day. We suck at goodbyes, but we are great at telling other people what to do, so here are our suggestions for our former boss' next big step.

Several people sent us a Craigslist casting notice claiming they're casting new guidos for season two. We called the number and, guess what, it's faker than that rack JWOWW is sporting.

Beer bones! Soda cancer! Money fear! Broken hearts! Happy marriage! Michelle O-fitness! It's time for your Gawker health watch, where we watch health—for YOU!

The very hard partying NYU economics professor Nouriel Roubini painted such a bleak picture of our economy he was dubbed Dr. Doom. Now his outlook has changed so he says he wants a new nickame. We're here to help.

Thanks to make-over shows and reality television, every girl in America thinks that they need "a gay." Sorry, ladies, but gay men have no interest in being your pink, glittery accessory. In fact, there are some rules for these relationships.

Today is disgusting. When I woke up in my warm bed this morning I thought, "I am definitely calling in sick." But here I am. Why? Because it would violate the rules for getting away with this sort of thing.

If you're ticketed for not wearing pants on the subway today, you might consider invoicing Guest of a Guest or NYMag's The Cut for misinforming loyal readers on "No-Pants Subway Day." Which is, despite their reports, actually tomorrow. [True/Slant]