In 2007, a Missouri teenager named Jimmy Winkelmann Jr. came up with an idea to spoof lax-bro brand the North Face: an online apparel shop named the South Butt. Other smart alecks had conceived of this name before, but once the North Face sent cease-and-desists, the little jokers quickly cowered before the corporate Goliath's demands. Winkelmann was not like that. With the support of his dad, Jimmy Sr., the future biomedical engineering student forged ahead with a logo that inverted the North Face's half-dome insignia into a bum and a small inventory of hoodies, fleece jackets, and knit caps.

Cell phones: they had such promise. Such wondrous potential. How have we, wretched humanity, squandered that potential? By turning cell phones into predatory ad-delivery systems. Corporations are literally stalking you, by cell phone. And you asked for it!