It's been nearly two years since we last detected the whimperings of M. Night Shyamalan, who followed Lady in the Water (and the pouty studio exile that preceded it) with a quiet retreat to his shrouded, moated enclave in the Pennsylvania wilderness. But the LA Times's Susan King smoked him out in advance of his return to theaters this summer, reviving the classic Manoj Twist for a readership craving every word:

Today's Page Six previews W's upcoming story on the rapidly growing membership of the all-female Velvet Mob splinter group the magazine has dubbed the Rubyfruit Mafia, a faction whose influence grows each time one of the industry's power-lesbians makes the brave choice to step out of the closet:

Let us once again sing the praises of YouTube, continuous font of unexpectedly riveting video goodies. We just stumbled across this video blog interview with just-fired Buena Vista head Nina Jacobson that was posted yesterday, but obviously conducted before the tragic events of last Wednesday—and which, improbably, includes a discussion of firings from earlier in her career. Take a disorienting two minutes to watch the video, during which you'll feel as if you've hopped in a time machine that travels only about a week into the past, to a more innocent, happier time in which studio executives don't get whacked in the delivery room.

As we all recently learned in the immediate aftermath of Star Jones' self-immolation on/dismissal from The View, any entertainment corporation's abrupt firing of a high-profile employee must include a plan to remove all traces of the prejudicially shitcanned from their website, lest the stench of incompletion linger around an otherwise well-executed termination. Either Disney's soon-to-be very busy personnel reduction department hasn't yet gotten around to taking down Nina Jacobson's corporate bio, or they've already let go the guy who was supposed to take care of finishing the the dirty job started with that now-infamous delivery room phonecall.
· A live-action version of Donkey Kong would also not be a bad idea.
· With all due credit to our pal Will at Deadspin and the other friend who supplied this line: You're not with me, Leatherman.
· Yesterday, we learned the rule about not asking a showrunner about his Klum-stalking past; today THR's Ray Richmond teaches us the other rules of working the TCA tour.

Based on the suggestion of one of our fine commenters, we think that the entire casting process for the lead in CBS's inevitable movie of the week about yesterday's upheaval at Disney, Hard Labor: The Delivery Room Firing Of Nina Jacobson, will consist of a single phone call to SNL star Rachel Dratch's agent. Or should a feature film version go into development, someone might want to check on Jodie Foster's availability and potential willingness to glam herself down for a meaty, heart-wrenching role.

Easily trumping Paramount house-cleaner Brad Grey's Christmastime hit of 33-year studio veteran Wayne Llewellen as he vacationed in South Africa, Disney chairman Dick Cook takes his place in recent cold-blooded layoff lore with yesterday's badly timed dispatching of Walt Disney Motion Pictures Group President Nina Jacobson, who found out she was losing her job in between her partner's contractions. Reports the LAT:

It seems that Disney wasn't fucking around when it announced its intentions to keel-haul a chunk of its workforce while they were still lightheaded from the champagne they'd been chugging to celebrate Pirates of Caribbean 2's record-breaking opening weekend, as the Mouse Slaughterhouse broke the ice on its coming employee bloodbath by offing one of its highest profile cast members this afternoon, now-former Buena Vista head Nina Jacobson. (You no doubt remember Jacobson as the callous creative exec who crushed M. Night Shyamalan's fairytale dreams and tried to starve his script-delivering assistant to death on a diet of low-carb soup.)

The NY Times' Janet Maslin reviews The Man Who Heard Voices, the soon-to-be-released hagiography of oppressed, misunderstood auteur M. Night Shyamalan, who somehow survived a creative stoning by Disney Philistine Nina Jacobson and took passion project The Lady in the Water to the more nurturing executives at Warner Bros. We've already heard about Night's infamous Valentine's Day flaying at the the hands of Jacobson, but Maslin highlights a far more appalling indignity visited upon the auteur's loyal assistant: