Just in case you ever wonder about which stars move tabloid product and which ones paparazzi probably wouldn't cross the street to photograph if they were on fire, today's pair of wedding-related announcements speak volumes: ET Online notes that bonafide (if US Weekly neglected) star Jack Black eloped with girlfriend Tanya Haden, a union that took the celebrity-industrial complex about two weeks (says our source) to notice. Meanwhile, you will probably not be able to go within fifty feet of a supermarket checkout line without knowing every detail about the engagement ring fifth-string Desperate Housewife Nicolette Sheridan's received from Unfrozen Caveman Soft Rock Balladeer Michael Bolton. We're going to guess that the Muzak royalties for "I Want To Know What Love Is" "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" could provide for a rock big enough to topple Teri Hatcher when she tries it on for size on the DH set.