What fun it must be to have a baby, get married, or turn one year older if you’re lucky enough to be chummy with Village People Fan Club president Tom Cruise. As a card-carrying member of Tom’s inner circle of disco-dancing Xenu-fearing tribe of pals, new mom Nicole Kidman had the joy of receiving one of Cruise’s trademark lavish gifts — as People reports, the birth of little Sunday Urban prompted Nicole’s ex-partner in bearded crime to send over a huge “high-end” gift basket filled to the brim with fancy baby must-haves. But after reviewing Tom’s history of gifting his nearest and dearest with incredibly bizarre and, at times, inappropriate items, we suspect his inclusion of “Giraffe baby blankets” might actually be a subtle swipe at Kidman’s tendency to resemble the long-necked drowsy animal. Cruise’s unnerving presents of the past to fellow Tom-ophiles like Dakota Fanning and Katie Holmes, after the jump.

The inevitable karmic payback for Fraggle Rock: The Movie is coming swift and severe at The Weinstein Company, where Harvey Weinstein is reduced to bringing in outsiders to get two of his long-delayed passion projects off the ground. Relativity Media appears ready to kick in at least half of Nine's $80 million budget, meaning the long-delayed, Daniel Day-Lewis/Nicole Kidman-starring musical will finally start shooting this fall.

• Ashley Dupre might be leaving the beaches of New Jersey for the beaches of California to star in a new reality show. Just what the show will consist of isn't clear (or what network is going to pick it up), but there's a possibility it could be a dating show a la Tila Tequila. [E!]

· We're thrilled to see that E! is perfectly prepared to throw their First Family of Reality under the bus if it means getting a pretty inspired sketch on the air. [Chelsea Lately]
· Nicole Kidman delivered a beautiful girl today named Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Her birthing canal was then swiftly Botoxed back to its original state. [Reuters]
· When we heard the title, "Molly Ringwald on Molly Ringwald," we figured we were in for some brat-packer-themed porn (à la Pretty in the Pink). Sadly, there is no Molly-on-Molly action to be had here, but cheap thrills abound nonetheless. [LAT]
· Speaking of John Hughes heroines: Ever wonder what happened to Curly Sue? Wonder no more! [MySpace via Too Much Awesome]
· Hey, kids! What time is it?! [ffffound.com]

· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead.
· Angelina Jolie gave birth to the Chosen Twins! No wait, it was just another false alarm.
· McLovin and some starlets, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes some little McLovins in a baby carriage! But wait, watch out for that lightning storm!
· Madonna's frosty marriage to Guy Ritchie came thisclose to breaking down this week when reports surfaced that she's been fielding grounders from New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. And Lenny Kravitz has something to do with it.
· Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA. But don't fret! There's a Friends movie on the way (maybe).
· We wished the happiest of happy birthdays to Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise.
· We busted out our long lost graphing calculator and got all scientific on your asses by examining the comedic rise and fall of Mike Myers.
· Nude Nicole Kidman vs. the fully clothed Katie Holmes proved to be an uneven fight.
· Fanboys from sea to shining sea creamed their collective jeans when Megan Fox dumped Brian Austin Green. Brett Ratner called dibs and already has some erotic literature ready for their first date.
· Denise Richards carefully explained to her 13-year-old nephew exactly what a threesome is.
· At long last, anal lubricant got the recognition it so justly deserves.

• TomCruise.com

It didn’t take long for Katie Holmes to prove she cannot compare to Nicole Kidman when it comes to Broadway appeal. Months before she even sets foot on stage, Tom Cruise’s replacement wife is striking out at the box office, managing to sell only $1 million worth of advance tickets to her September theatrical effort in All My Sons. That may sound like a decent take in the world of steadily declining Broadway sales, but it doesn’t even come close to Kidman’s number, which was $4 million. So why the distant gap in interest between seeing Holmes hack through Arthur Miller and Kidman feign sex live? It’s not just a matter of full-frontal cartwheels...

• Good to know that even though Madonna and Guy Ritchie's relationship is on the rocks, their spiritual lives remain intact. Madonna spent the weekend in New York and attended the Kabbalah center in Midtown on Friday and Saturday; Guy paid a visit to the center in London. [People]

• Cop-slugging reporter Alycia Lane sued her former employer, saying the Philly TV station pushed her into an embarassing Dr. Phil interview, as though there is any other kind. [AP]

As excited as we are for borderline troublemaker Emma Watson and her rumored new deal to become the "face of Chanel" at 18, the $6 million contract comes with a curse or two. The French cosmetics giant has been airbrushing celebrity visages in ad campaigns for years, but its most recent short-term star partnerships haven't always ended amicably, nor have they resulted in the kind of chaste and glossy reputation sources predict for Watson. Though a friend insists that "She's not going to end up like these other Hollywood train wrecks, she just isn't...No one is going to be saying, ‘I never wanted to see Hermione in that light,'" we took a look back at her quilted bag-carrying predecessors to shine a light on the kind of controversy this same wallet-fattening gig has earned its celebrity reps in the past.

Nicole Kidman’s rehabbed, country-crooning husband Keith Urban has infinite knowledge on many things: how to prepare cocaine for free-basing, which hair salons in Australia promise the best blond guylights and where one can pick up a sweet pair of skintight leather pants. But one area of expertise Urban hasn’t quite nailed down yet is this whole baby business. At the CMA Awards on Friday night, reporters bombarded the surprise performer with the inevitable string of wombwatch-related questions, one of which involved the topic of gifts the odd couple have received for the upcoming celeb spawn:

When the Count and Countess of Scientology throw a party, they do not set out plastic lawn chairs and serve crustless honey-drenched finger sandwiches. No, when TomKat decide to invite all of their friends and frenemies (and even some enemies!) over for a daytime soirée, the Knights of Hubbard throw the kind of party that puts everyone from the Royal Family to Donatella Versace to shame. On Saturday afternoon, TomKat decided to congratulate themselves on purchasing yet another of their many torture chambers loving households in Beverly Hills by hosting the likes of Kirstie “I Should Be Dead” Alley, Oprah “Never Forget” Winfrey, Victoria “Posher Than Katie” Beckham, and Jennifer “Marc Is Sick Again” Lopez. And putting aside Suri’s adorably Croc-like sandals and her ongoing tendency to appear just as frightened of her father as the rest of the world, this A-list party’s most impressive attributes were the pimped out rides. After the jump, a collection of the invitees in their modes of transportations, and a sampling of just how much security goes into protecting their Friends and Foes from Xenu’s ominous Orwellian eye:

It’s a rare day at Defamer HQ when we receive a denial from an A-lister’s publicist that actually makes us fall in love with them a little. Referring to our post last week suggesting Nicole Kidman may be posing nude and pregnant for a major glossy magazine cover (à la Demi Moore), we received the following note in our inbox from her rep, Catherine Olim of PMK: “Nicole is amused at this story, but it is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE. She is not posing nude for any magazines, has not done so, will not be doing so, pregnant or otherwise. Heaven only knows where this came from! Seriously. Do quote me.” And quote you, we will. Our apologies, we should've never assumed that Nicole Kidman would drop trou for anyone other than Stanley Kubrick. Or Steven Shainberg. Or Jonathan Glazer. Or Anthony Minghella. We could keep going, but that's what Mr. Skin is for. [Defamer]

• Oh, hey, Republican Mayor Michael Bloomberg might stop snapping at people long enough to play a thinly-veiled, self-mocking George W. Bush in a Broadway play. [P6]

The latest celebrity said to be jumping on the nudie pregnant pictures bandwagon is Nicole Kidman, who was seen yesterday attending a "top secret" modeling session for a potential cover shoot with Frenchy photographer extraordinaire Patrick Demarchelier. While he's no Annie Leibovitz, and it's unknown which magazine this shoot was for, Demarchelier is a monthly contributor for Allure, Vogue, and Demi Moore's old knocked-up-while-nude stomping grounds, Vanity Fair. So whether or not Nicole is looking to appear on an upcoming cover of VF as Demi's successor is still unknown, but we took a look back at some classic big-bellied celebrity appearances in the past to see some glossy examples of what Kidman will be competing with in the Nude And Pregnant Hall of Fame:

[Photo Credit: X17]

· It's the battle of the dueling Dusty Springfield movies! In one corner, weighing in at...not much...is Nicole Kidman, in a Fox 2000 release written by Michael Cunningham. In the other, weighing in at even less, is Universal's own take, with Kristin Chenoweth attached to star. Will this go the way of the two competing Janis Joplin projects—Pink's vs. Renée Zellweger's—that produced nothing? Or is it going to be a Capote/Infamous scenario, with more Springfield biopic options than we really wanted in the first place? [Variety]
· Official reason given for Toni Collette's departure from Untitled Sam Mendes Romcom By Dave Eggers and His Wife: "Scheduling delays." She'll be replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Variety]

When it comes to celebrity couples making out in public, you'd think all those beautiful people would know how to make a kiss look hot. They manage to do it on-screen with complete strangers, and frankly, a large part of their job is to hook up take after take and make it still look steamy and unrehearsed, right? But as our slideshow-happy friends at Us have shown us, stars are seriously lacking in the hot and heavy PDA department. While some couples (Drew Barrymore and Justin Long) are downright sweet, and some are disturbingly turning us on at such an early hour (Enrique and Anna Kournikova, natch), we'd like to officially ban any future photos of a select few couples getting down and dirty ever again. The good, the bad, and the nauseating, after the jump:

· Quick—take shelter inside this cardboard Tauntaun! It's the Sweded version of The Empire Strikes Back! [YouTube via /Film]
· Videogum wonders where The Strangers, aka The Blair Floppy/Creepy Mask Project, really takes place. [Videogum]
· The Yogurt Elders have spoken: At long last, Pinkberry can hold its head up high and declare itself to be the real thing. [Eater LA]
· The Hoff ordered to pay $25,000 a month in Hasselmony. [USA Today]
· Enjoy these new production stills from Baz Luhrmann's upcoming Ralph Lauren Safari campaign movie, Australia. Check out that Hugh Jackman—now that's how you crack a whip! And don't forget Nicole Kidman—now that's how you cough up blood into a lace kerchief and look frail! [Australiamovie.com, iesb.net]

After trying and failing to lure tabloid favorites like Nicole Richie and K-Fed to the Broadway stage, producers on the Great White Way have apparently reverted to seeking out stars with actual acting experience. The Daily Mail reports that Katie Holmes is in final negotiations to play a major role in Arthur Miller's classic All My Sons, opposite Broadway heavy hitters Dianne Weist and John Lithgow. But will Katie's performance top one former Mrs. Cruise's naked cartwheels from exactly one decade ago?