Disappointingly for observers of the goings-on at the G-20 Summit, Carla Bruni Sarkozy wasn't present, so while the media feigned enthusiasm at the task of judging Michelle Obama's outfits alongside the other First Ladies', it really wasn't much of a competition. Thank goodness, then, that the Obamas are now in France with the Sarkozys, and are faced, as one serious-minded journalist sees it, with a challenge of equal weight: Our president will use the NATO Summit to lobby for more help for allied troops in Afghanistan, and his wife will try with all her might to usurp Carla as the most glamorous First Lady on the planet.

• Madonna is supposedly furious with Alex Rodriguez for returning to his ex-wife Cynthia after the steroid scandal broke a few days ago; we're guessing she won't be too happy with the pics of A-Rod partying with a group of girls in the Bahamas the weekend before, either. [NYDN, NYP]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged. [People, P6]
• Cops will reinterview Rihanna and Chris Brown in the coming days. [NYDN]
• Mort Zuckerman had a nice, long, expensive lunch at the Four Seasons right after slashing benefits at the Daily News. [P6]
• Prince Harry has been ordered to undergo "sensitivity training." [People]

At the annual Sidaction AIDS benefit dinner in Paris last night, Carla Bruni, in purple strapless satin Yves Saint Laurent, did what she does best: reveled in the spotlight and upstaged every other dolled-up female—Mischa Barton, Vanessa Paradis, Diane Kruger, Dita von Teese, Milla Jovovich, Laeticia Casta, Dasha Zhukova, Virginie Ledoyen—in the room.

Bon anniversaire, monsieur le président! France's Nicolas Sarkozy turns 54 today. The most popular man at the New York Times, Mexican billionaire—and NYT investor—Carlos Slim Helú, is 69. Elijah Wood is 28. Actor Alan Alda is 73. Comedian Mo Rocca is turning 40. Nick Carter is turning 29. Sarah McLachlan is 41. Joey Fatone is 32. The rapper Rakim is 41. And power-hungry, homophobic pastor Rick Warren is celebrating 55 years on God's green earth today.

File this under things you didn't wake up this morning needing to know. Julie Imperiali, Nicolas Sarkozy's personal trainer, says she was hired by Carla Bruni last year to help the French president shed weight and improve his sexual stamina. The workout plan focuses "on the perinea muscles at the bottom of the pelvis," a regimen that addresses "problems of premature ejaculation." Glad to hear Sarkozy is getting the therapy needed to keep Carla a very happy first lady. And at least Michelle now knows who to contact if Barack's new job starts interferring with his performance in the White House's master bedroom. [NYP]

• Both retailers and editors are scaling back plans for the couture shows in Paris in January. Anna Wintour, however, will not be deterred. [The Cut]
• A list of 2008's "ubiquitors." [WWD]
• Designer Ted Lapidus is dead at 79. [Guardian]
• The movie about the Bruni-Sarkozy love affair will only air in France, alas. [Style.com]
• A former YSL makeup artist has slapped the company with a discrimination lawsuit. [WWD]
• Tough times: the CEO of Liz Claiborne is forced to fly commercial. [WSJ]
• Did you miss The City? You didn't miss much, but Whitney Port has posted her very own recap, if you're interested. [Celebuzz]

Has marriage to a vertically-challenged head of state robbed France's First Lady of her sense of humor? Carla Bruni Sarkozy—whose party trick used to be making her boobs dance individually—is now suing a French clothing chain for slapping her famous nude photo on their seasonal shopping bags. It could be worse: A few weeks ago Sarkozy tried (and failed) to ban the sale of a voodoo doll in his image, which has since turned into a big seller in Paris this holiday season. [Telegraph]

Paris is lovely in December. And even lovelier if someone else is footing the bill! Oblivious to the world's economic meltdown, 1,500 self-involved, self-indulgent opinionators have flown to France for Le Web, a meet-and-greet on the tech circuit.

Meet Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, an inept Republican politician on the order of, say a Katherine Harris. The Congresswoman hung up on Barack Obama twice today, and then put out a press release about it, and THEN mis-spelled "Barak's" name (and the name of his chief of staff) in the press release. Surely what's going on here is that Ros-Lehtinen, the longest-serving woman in Congress and no stranger to embarrassment, has learned all too well the apparent lesson of Sarah Palin's crank call from fake Nicolas Sarkozy: Dense politicians should not attempt to talk to famous strangers on the phone. But she's still incredibly stupid, as revealed by the hilarious chronology of events she published today:

Keira Knightley walking in SoHo with her mom ... Natalie Portman filming scenes for her new movie at the Wollman Rink in Central Park ... Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy walking out of a downtown restaurant ... Penn Badgley carrying takeout from Cafe Habana on Prince Street ... Brooke Shields hailing a cab in the West Village ... Naomi Watts pushing her son's stroller in NoHo ... Robin Williams carrying a Juicy Couture bag in the West Village ... Ed Westwick walking on Chrystie Street ... Emma Thompson posing for photographers outside the Letterman show ... Kid Rock leaving the Trump International Hotel ... and Anna Wintour getting out of a car.

France's First Lady Carla Bruni, who's never met a spotlight opportunity she didn't like, is eagerly joining her husband Nicolas Sarkozy in praising the Obamas. Mrs. Sarkozy said in a TV interview that she "can't wait" to meet Michelle Obama: "To see this couple go to the White House is just magnificent." The Italian-born former model/actress also told a French newspaper that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's comments about Barack Obama's "tan" made her "pleased to have become French." [People, TFP]

French president Nicolas Sarkozy on the results of the U.S. election: "Obama is my buddy... I never believed Hillary Clinton would win." [Der Spiegel]

Attending official functions with her diminutive husband, French prez Nicolas Sarkozy, Carla Bruni's perfectly chosen outfits and European charm remain far more newsworthy than the boring old diplomatic business that's the ostensible reason for her presence here. Yesterday's schedule included a visit to the UN, where her husband gave a speech to world leaders but, more importantly, Bruni wore "demure" pinstripes and a ponytail.

♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]

French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his beautiful, mesmerizing wife Carla Bruni are in New York City today, taking in the local culture and meeting with various heads of state. Also in town, Alaskan governor and Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin! You know, little Sarah Heath from Wasilla! The Observer wonders if they'll cross paths at all, envisioning a potential dinner full of awkwardness and, eventually, shouting. We're gonna use our drama degree for once and take it one step further. After the jump, find an imagined (because reporters aren't actually allowed to these meetings) scene from the dinner. [NICOLAS, CARLA, SARAH, and her husband TODD are seated in a secluded corner of a fancy midtown Manhattan restaurant. A long pause.] SARAH: Well this sure is fancy. CARLA: Oh, yes. It is very lovely no? SARAH: I tell ya, I haven't had a decent meal since Todd'n me got a Rodeo burger at the Minneapolis airport. Ever had one'a those? Rodeo Burgers? CARLA: Ahh.. I— SARAH: From Burger King? CARLA: Oh, yes, yes. Of course. Burger King. No, I've not had the, uh, Rodeo hamburger. TODD: Helluva sandwich. Helluva sandwich. NICOLAS: Ms. Palin, your husband tells m— SARAH: Oh for pete's sake, call me Sarah. NICOLAS: Oui, of course. Sarah. Your husband tells me you do some hunting? SARAH: Sure do. Oh yeah. Yup. NICOLAS: Pheasant? Foxes? SARAH: No, no. Mostly the bigger stuff. Moose'n such. CARLA: Moose is... an elk or something, yes? SARAH: Sorta like that only bigger'n slower and stuff. TODD: Helluva kill, the moose. Helluva kill. SARAH: Do you hunt Carly? CARLA: Uh, no. No hunting for me. I play music? The guitar? SARAH: Oh my goodness. Todd, I told you she was arty. You look arty, Carly. Whaddaya play? Do you know any Jim Croce? CARLA: I play, uh, my original songs. SARAH: Holy Nome, you write your own stuff, eh? NICOLAS: She writes beautifully. SARAH: Well that... That's just great. [A long pause. Clinking of utensils.] SARAH: I hear Paris is a lovely country. I've always wanted to go to Euro Disney. When I was a little girl I used to look at maps? Lotsa maps. And you could see Idaho, and New Mexico, and New Hampshire, and the Carolinas. All that. None of 'em ever had France on 'em, though. Nope. Never been there. Hear it's real nice. Little [does shaky hand motion] for my taste, but real nice. When all this is over, Todd and I were thinkin' about going down to Myrtle Beach. You two ever been there? NICOLAS: Ah, no. No. We were recently in Sardinia, though. SARAH: Where they get the little fish! NICOLAS: Uh, yes. Yes. I suppose so. SARAH: How about that. Huh, Todd? How about that Todd? TODD: Helluva thing. Helluva thing. SARAH: Say, do you two have any kids? CARLA: Yes, but not together. None together. SARAH: Oh, well that's too bad. You'd better get workin'! Would you like to see mine? CARLA: Yes, of course. SARAH: Terrific. They're in my purse here somewhere. CARLA: Photographs? SARAH: No, no. The actual kids. Hold on here a sec... [She bends down and begins rooting around in her purse. Scene.] Palin chats with Henry Kissinger over at Daily Intel!

So many important people in the city, have you noticed? They're all on hand for the opening session of the UN General Assembly, of course, which is why you can't move three inches in a taxi in less than 10 minutes and why a trip to your local coffee cart requires you to wait as a motorcade of 19 vehicles passes by first. Yesterday Nicolas Sarkozy bounced around from event to event. Of course, no one had the slightest interest in the French president; all eyes were on his wife, Carla Bruni and the outfits that she unveiled almost hourly.

As a commenter put so depressingly yesterday, France gets Carla Bruni and we get Sarah Palin. Or, as the case may be, we get Cindy McCain. That potential first lady is a cold and at times cruel liar (according to Ariel Levy, at least), while Bruni—despite her many booji faults—is at least interesting. The nudie patootie French first lady is, well, gorgeous, but beside that she's chic and smart and Italian and talented and she dated Mick Jagger. Plus, she's a singer/songwriter who performed on the BBC last night. So who cares that she has a strange marriage to a really conservative French politician. We're just endlessly fascinated with her, because we here in American Wife land haven't really ever seen anything like it. And hey! Vanity Fair agrees with us.

French president Nicolas Sarkozy is endorsing a plan that would ban the provision of Internet access to file sharers caught pirating three times. The plan would use information from ISPs on "high-volume users" to find file sharers. Serial offenders would see their accounts suspended or terminated after their third strike. Music and film industries, naturally, are in favor of the plan. A consumer group in France labeled it "very harsh, potentially repressive, antieconomic and against the grain of the digital age." Harsh words. Well, it could be worse. At least they aren't blocking la Bible. (Photo by AP/Michel Euler)