The wordsmiths over at the Hillary Clinton campaign just can’t help themselves from coming up with insipid, potentially self-destructive names for their main opponent, a man whose appearance alone lends itself to an infinite array of much more spectacular nicknames.
Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."
Amanda Knox, the American student convicted of murdering her roommate while studying in Italy, is back on television. Amanda Knox, who was exonerated of the charges, has an anticipated tell-all memoir coming out. Amanda Knox, tabloid obsession, is being tried again for murder in Italy. Amanda Knox has a lot of nick-names:
Vice presidential candidate and fastest man on Earth Paul Ryan has just had his Secret Service code name revealed by Gentleman's Quarterly Magazine. It's Bowhunter.
Overemphatic stage wink
Melted-bead craft project
Lisa Frank needlepoint
Sentient glitter cloud
Over-iced Funfetti cupcake
Living Pinterest board
Probable Yelp reviewer
Novelty ukulele tune
Possessed Anthropologie mannequin
Animated Hipstamatic photograph
Crocheted Etsy woman
Living dog sweater
Bambi's rabbit friend
Hipster labradoodle
Satchel of fairy dust
Lots of cities choose nicknames that are "appealing" or "attractive." Not Washington, DC. No, Washington—a.k.a The District, a.k.a The Urrrea, a.k.a. The Once And Future Murder Capital—has smartly named itself after a ferociously unpopular bureaucracy.
CNBC anchor Maria Bartiromo has dropped her trademark on incessant nickname "Money Honey." Now that it's gone, we kind of miss fun Wall Street, if only because Wall Street 2 is going to be such a snore. [NYPost, Pic: Getty]
While prudish America argues over whether ladies can even say "tampon vagina" on teevee, a hippie feminine product company in Mother England is fully engaged in promoting not only vaginas, but also Pootie Tangs, Fajitas, Flangivas, Vaginkles, and Anastasia Beaverhousens.
Senators and Federal employees are taking a snow day, with three-foot snowfall blanketing the Atlantic seaboard from New Jersey to Virginia. As America braces for an "encore storm," one major dilemma remains: Which cute nickname won the weather system?
After yesterday's nicknames post, I received several indignant emails about leaving out perhaps the most elite nicknamed person of all time: J.D. Salinger, who—as readers of tributes to him know—was called "Jerry" by friends. But there are more.
Famed Madoff affair-haver Sheryl Weinstein demonstrates the rapid motion that earned Bernie Madoff the nickname "Winky Dink." So when does she whip it out?
Pictured is NYU economist and Facebook stalker Nouriel Roubini, a.k.a. Dr. Doom. There's a highlight clip going around the internet (it's after the jump) of an investment guru named Peter Schiff predicting our current economic crisis on various TV shows over the past couple of years, and being roundly mocked by the hosts and the other guests for doing so. Now they all look dumb (that's you, Ben Stein) and he looks great. So what's the media's nickname for Schiff? "Dr. Doom." Uh, yea, that one sounds familiar. Just how many freaking economists nicknamed "Dr. Doom" are there these days?
We thought "PEKEEP" might be some mysterious new free jazz expert that the Times was employing to write about the death of Max Roach, but it seems to just be some placeholder thing they forgot to take off. Anyway, we'll be referring to actual regular jazz expert Peter Keepnews as "PEKEEP" from now on. Oh: And now he's dead, by the way. Drum on.
