Slime. Goo. The green stuff. Whatever you call it, Iggy Azalea wants it, but just can't seem to get it.

Now that she's free from the bonds of her Nickelodeon overlords, Sam and Cat star and subject of furious fapping Jennette McCurdy can finally say what she's wanted to say since her (actually pretty tame) sexy lingerie selfies leaked earlier this year: "I am not a role model."

Danny Tamberelli, that auburn-headed star of, oh I don't know, everything that was true and good and right from Nickelodeon's Golden Age–The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Figure It Out, All That– is here to answer your questions and indulge your 90's nostalgia.

Riding high on the latest Pew poll numbers which put him in the lead by 4 points among likely voters, Mitt Romney turned down a request from Nickelodeon to appear in its quadrennial "Kids Pick the President" special.

Davy Jones, the dreamy British member of manufactured Beatles rip-off The Monkees, died from a heart attack this morning at his home in Florida. He was 66 years old.

In your ungrateful Thursday media column: we must all come together to defend Jim Romenesko, farewells at the NYDN, an election news vet dies, and Nickelodeon suffers.

You hoped it was over, but Rebecca Black's moment will go on. Also today: Lincoln finds his wife, Nickelodeon shows both old and new receive some good news, a new ABC show receives some bad news, and Ellen Page is headed to be neurotic in Rome.

Last Friday a mother in Queens bought her kids a DVD at Toys "R" Us, Nickelodeon All-Star Sports Day featuring Dora the Explorer and her pal, Diego. The next day, Candice Connor sat down to watch it with her two sons, Nigel and Logan, but instead of watching Diego and Dora work on their swings and shoot hoops, Nigel, 11, told the Daily News:

They're not going to be a couple or anything, but they will both be in New Year's Eve. Also today: some exciting news items for the nerdy among us and AMC orders a new show, as does Nickelodeon.

Nostalgia fiends, rejoice! The wonders of YouTube feature "Time Travelers," the 1994 episode of Pete & Pete that found both Petes in quite the situation. Little Pete attempts to transcend time while Big Pete finally asks Ellen on a date.

On Saturday, Katy Perry was drenched in green slime at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. It happened while she presented the "favorite movie actress" award to Miley Cyrus. After the sliming, Jonah Hill made a somewhat inappropriate joke.

From heroin addicted chef, to globetrotting professional eater, to...this? Anthony Bourdain will make an appearance as a doctor on the Nickelodeon kid's show set to debut March 10th. Bourdain fans should not be pleased. Yo Gabba Gabba fans, either.

As the first of Nickelodeon's 'Nicktoon' releases, Jim Jinkins' Doug was a success running from 1991 to 1999. Quailman, the title character's super-powered alter-ego, garners super-powers by wearing underwear outside of his pants.

This clip comes from a 1987 Nickelodeon show that focused around asking "famous people" questions. There's got to be at least twenty familiar faces in this video, who do you recognize?

• A new poll finds that one-third of Americans under 40 think The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are replacing "traditional" news outlets. [HP]
• Nickelodeon is asking kids to unplug their TVs and gadgets for a minute on Earth Day to signal "a commitment to helping the environment." Just a minute, though! Then they can go back to filling their heads with mindless junk. [AP]
• CNBC's Larry Kudlow will not be running for the Senate. Crushing! [NYT]
• Ratings for President Obama's telecast last night "showed some audience slippage compared with his two most recent live events." [THR]
• The Chicago Tribune and LA Times are combining their foreign reporters into one unit. Meanwhile, the AJC is cutting 30% of its staff. [E&P, AP]
• How is Twitter going to make money? Good question! [WSJ]
• William Morris is likely to seal a deal with Endeavor this week. [TDB]
• Verizon says it plans to launch its own local TV channel in NYC this summer. It will be just like NY1, minus the incomparable Pat Kiernan, of course. [WSJ]

Nickelodeon has finally read the internet. A week too late. They sent an urgent memo out today, recognizing their dumb mistake in keeping girlfriend-beater Chris Brown among the nominees for their Kids' Choice Awards.

The girlfriend-assaulting R&B singer is nominated for a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award! We think he's a longshot at this point, but you never know... There are always surprises at the KCAs!

Viacom, the parent company of MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, and Nickelodeon (among others), recently laid off 7% of their staff. That is 850 people, folks! But apparently, Nickelodeon president Cyma Zarghami doesn't think it's any reason to cancel Christmas, hosting a party for a chosen few— but Viacom's employee party was officially taken away this year due to lack of funds. This, of course, really pisses off the uninvited. Memo follows.

"What video is to TV, games are to the Web," says Steve Youngwood, executive vice president for digital media at Viacom's Nickelodeon channel. We're not sure about that, but "casual gaming" is definitely big business — Nickelodeon is spending $100 million on new gaming initiatives including 600 original games for its websites, branded with its various entertainment shows. The appeal is obvious: For a 9-year old girl, why watch Dora the Explorer when you can be Dora the Explorer?

"For some children, watching "Dora the Explorer" on television is becoming passé. Now, they want to be Dora." Mother. Fuckers. They want to be Dora because multinational corporations are pouring millions into online games that masquerade as harmless diversions while actually indoctrinating children into brand worship! Nickelodeon is spending $100 million to draw in the children of the world with shiny games. Entertainment, retailers, junk food, and other huge business sectors are all using these games to lure kids into influencing purchasing decisions—some games are even designed for kids "on the laps of their moms." It's truly one of the most insidious forms of... hey, "Reese's Puffs Cereal Snowboard Slalom?" Sweet. [NYT]