You may not know this, but somebody’s having a birthday this week. That’s right, it’s your old buddy America. And to celebrate, President Bush has given all his loyal subjects Friday off. But with the specter of a long flag-filled weekend looming in the horizon, some folks have decided to check out a little early. Talk shows are in reruns, agents and lawyers aren’t returning calls, and even our own ST VanAirsdale has headed off to Bora Bora on a secret tryst with Nikki Finke. But here at Defamer HQ, the show must go on. That’s why we called in the extremely talented (and modest) Nick Malis. He’ll be guest blogging for the rest of the week, giving you all the Madonna-divorcing, Angelina-twin-having news you can handle before you gorge yourself on burgers and dogs on Friday. Give him a warm welcome, folks.

Let's face it people; this country is going to proverbial hell in a not-so-proverbial handbasket. The Democratic party is imploding, gas prices are so high that Jay Leno can only afford to fill up 30 of his cars, and Lara Flynn Boyle is quickly morphing into Priscilla Presley. In troubled times like these, we here at Defamer find it necessary to bring in someone who can stare the harsh reality of life in the face, someone who can cut through all the BS and really give it to you straight, someone who runs a website called Cute Things Falling Asleep. That's right, our old buddy Nick Malis will be guest blogging here for the rest of the week. So, please take a moment of silent, meaningful reflection to welcome him and then get back to your regularly scheduled morning routine.