All human history, everyone knows, comes down to sex, violence and oil, so that in the end is the story of Sudan.

In your stranded Monday media column: an AP vs. NYT journo-feud, Jon Stewart is slobbered over again, business cable news networks are finally making the big bucks, and Nick Kristof loves China so much.

In your commendable Thursday media column: Nick Kristof is the perfect columnist except for his writing, the NYT acknowledges its photo scandal, USA Today teaches us how to write a story that adds up to zero, and Lenny Dykstra's bankrupt.

Nick Kristof, the Times' most earnestly boring columnist, has started a Twitter feed. Finally. Here's the single most interesting thing he's said so far: "Here's my fave word of the week: 'leporine.' Apparently it means rabbit-like. Great word, no? I'll try sneaking it into a column. —ndk." Nick, you sly devil! I feel like I am literally standing on the set of All The President's Men.

Although the business of journalism is currently in the process of imploding, the romance of journalism remains. So while journalists can't find jobs any more, they can at least take comfort in the fact that they are very attractive subjects for Hollywood! The Sundance Film Festival released its lineup today, and there are no less than three documentaries that are all about the drama of the A-list press. They could all conceivably be good, although Anna Wintour sounds like a far more compelling subject than Nick Kristof:

Tragedy of the elite: we hear that Sheryl WuDunn, the wife of Times columnist Nick Kristof, has been laid off from her job as a private wealth advisor at Goldman Sachs—a casualty of Goldman's plan to cut 10% of staff. She was a longtime journalist, and wrote for the Times, Reuters, and the WSJ before going into banking. She married Kristof in 1988 and won a Pulitzer in 1990 for her reporting in Beijing. Rather ironic that the journalist in the family is now the breadwinner over the banker, no? The lesson here: just when you thought you were getting out of the crappy journalism industry... it PULLS YOU BACK IN! And lays you off at your new job. Care to watch Nick and Sheryl appear together on Charlie Rose back in happier days? Then click through to do so!

We'd always heard the rumors about how the Times was a hotbed of sex and intrigue (No, really! You may find it hard to believe, but even Gay Talese thought so—he had all those bits in The Kingdom and the Power about young reporters squiring away the hot secretaries and stuff), with, like, people leaving their spouses for the sexy stringer in their foreign bureau. But who, exactly, are the current couples of the Times? We decided to start making a list. (Your additions are, of course, welcome.)

Today the New York Times puts up a video by Will Okun, the photographer and winner of the win a trip with Nick Kristof contest. Umm? He can win a trip with me any day. It helps if you turn down the audio on the Times video, by the way. Blah blah poor people, Africa, poverty shocking, etc. Whatever, pretty fella! It's nice but not necessary that you know some words. Here's a full page of photos of him!

TimesSelect isn't just about the witty observations of Maureen Dowd or the elaborate "I told you so"s from Paul Krugman. No, it's so much more! Including this video of human rights advocate Nick Kristof getting a haircut in Kabul!