Owen Wilson shopping at the Apple store in Soho ... Olivia Palermo checking her BlackBerry outside the Standard Hotel, and later going to the DVF offices with Whitney Port ... Brooke Shields walking with her daughter in the East Village ... Jason Bateman carrying daughter Francesca on his shoulders ... Hugh Jackman going to breakfast with his wife and kids, and later jogging along the West Side Highway ... DJ Clue filming a music video with Fabulous in the meatpacking district ... Ewan McGregor leaving ABC studios ... Nick Jonas arriving at JFK ... and Jennifer Aniston sitting on a stoop with a bunch of kids on the set of The Baster in Brooklyn.

• Are Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze planning to head down the aisle this summer? That's what the Star claims, since the two have been together "almost a year" and supposedly "don't see why they should wait much longer." As good a reason as any! [Star]
• Sam Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated," and says she and LiLo have started talking again, which may mean they're getting back together. [Us]
• Mary-Kate Olsen "kept touching" actor Bradley Cooper at a Tribeca Film Festival party, which could be a sign that they might be dating. [NYDN]
• Parker Posey showed off her new man at the festival, too. She's dating a sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. [NYM]

"Malia Obama-Jonas"...has a nice (purity) ring to it. [HuffPo]

♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]

Heading into Sunday night's VMAs, one could never have predicted that the Jonas Brothers would end up central to the ceremony's only real controversy; and yet, thanks to Russell Brand's purity-tweaking jokes and Jordin Sparks's impassioned tirade against sluts, there they found themselves. Would the squeaky-clean trio retaliate by wagging their ringed fingers in Brand's face, or would they take Courtney Love's colorful advice to sample "some pussy and some cock and shut the hell up"? According to the BBC, they chose a different route, claiming to be fans of Brand (thanks to his last Conan O'Brien appearance) and giving him some pointers on pleasing the fickle American audience:

Look, we're old. Not "old" old, but more like "the Olympics were so much better in Los Angeles" old. And definitely not "Beatlemania" old, but old enough to wonder if the Jonas Brothers phenomenon is anything like what we've heard about Beatlemania. We honestly don't know — before today we'd never listened to a Jonas Brothers song, we've never seen them perform, we don't even know which is which, only that the moppiest-headed one occasionally receives photos of Miley Cyrus eating her skivvies. But this week's seismic release of the new Jonas Brothers album A Little Bit Longer — and the ensuing tear-streaked, hair-gnawing tween bedlam (best evinced by the accompanying snapshot from the group's recent TRL appearance) — has us taking the Jonases' impact much more seriously. After all, today's young pop heroes are tomorrow's clinically wasted reality TV icons; on that basis alone their soaring stars deserve a closer look and deeper understanding — or at least a handy Defamer fact sheet for your water-cooler convenience. Everything you need to know is after the jump.I. KNOW YOUR JONASES

[The dreeeeamiest and disturbingly younnggggest Jonas Brother, Nick, headed off to school. Hahah! I am kidding! He is filming a music video in New York City, probably for the Music Television network; image via INF] miasma-protege's new line beats the original, "Let Me Get You Some Coffee To Put That In"

Astonishing as it is, Miley Cyrus — the little tween queen ofsexy "private" pictures that keep somehow keep becoming public — is currently at the center of three separate scandalous stories. Last week, the 15-year old Jesus-loving and shirt-eating mini-millionaire not only accidentally (of course!) found herself the victim of an iPhone hacker who published naughty wet t-shirt shower photos of her on the web, in addition to being the provacateur of a YouTube revenge video against Disney rival Selena Gomez. But there is so much more! Not only has Miley instructed her publicist to apologize for her role in said video, but the belly-baring icon of all young Christians has just been targeted as Lifestyles Condoms' newest spokeswoman because a brand rep feels she's "relatable to the afflicted set," and another clever blogger has unveiled yet another borderline-scandalous series of photos featuring the husky-voiced star getting hot and heavy with yet another ex-boyfriend — and we can't help noticing just how well-timed this particular "leak" is with regard to enemy Gomez' recent hook-up to that man-boy in the middle of their rift, Nick Jonas:

We didn't actually think she had it in her, but the world's most rapidly maturing 15-year old, Miley Cyrus, is behaving like, well, a 15-year old for once. Just as reports surfaced that her rival in tween porn and Disney affection Selena Gomez may be dating Cyrus' ex-boyfriend, we learn that the Battle Of The Tweens has been going on far longer than we thought. About a month ago, the wet t-shirt contestant decided to team up with her BFF and film a YouTube video mocking Selena and her partner in underage midriff-baring crime, Demi Lovato. Have we lost you? Not to worry! The only two things you really need to know before watching this oddly hilarious clip are: we're slightly worried Miley has found her daddy's liquor cabinet, and Demi Lovato is the next Demi Moore.The NY Daily News is reporting that Gomez, the sultry-ish star of The Wizards Of Waverly Place, has been dating yet another 15-year old, singer Nick Jonas. As many of you may know (however embarrassing it is to admit), Jonas is the rumored intended recipient of most of Cyrus' kissy-face iPhone photos and pouty shower shots that hit the Internets recently. While Jonas is admittedly cute in an adolescent John Mayer sort of way, we don't see why a break-up with the kid should prompt Miley into such bitter antics. Making fun of Gomez and her alarmingly sexy best friend / fellow Disney star Demi Lovato in this clip, Cyrus drops some low-blows about the gap in Lovato's teeth (one that has since been fixed) and the fact that Lovato wears a touch of black make-up (and looks just fine in it). However, the attack seems to be backfiringl, mainly because Miley — who frequently succumbs to giggle attacks and slurring throughout the vid — made her rep as the good girl next door and not as a conniving backstabber (or, for that matter, as an burgeoning anti-Semite with her use of the word "scheisty"). Fasten your seatbelts, it looks like we have another Lohan vs. Duff feud brewing as we type.

Another day, another provocative pictorial series starring a scantily clad Miley Cyrus. The latest batch of photos featuring the 15-year old Billion Dollar Girl staging her own personal Playboy Jr. shoot for boyfriend Nick Jonas has surfaced online, thanks to a hacker who claims he got a hold of everything on Miley's iPhone. We've already seen Miley's makeout sessions with various girls and boys, eating her clothes off and, of course, daringly flashing her bare back in Vanity Fair. But now we have the (uncomfortable) pleasure of seeing the then-14 year old showering in a wet t-shirt, photographing her widely seen midriff and, in a highly anticipated step closer to actual kiddie porn, totally topless. And judging by Miley's posing style, stances, and familiar Blow A Kiss act, this is not a matter of kids growin' up so fast these days. If you're looking to point fingers, look no further than original self-produced porn star Lindsay Lohan:

At this point, seeing photos of 15-year old Miley Cyrus posing topless or seductively baring her taut tummy for rumored paramour Nick Jonas is the very definition of old news. But when it comes to the tween millionaire appearing in photos actually kissing a boy (or, gasp, a girl!) in public, these photos would likely tighten a few paparazzo's trousers. As the LA Times reports today, pictures of Miley's "first kiss" could potentially earn one lucky photographer anywhere between $30k to $150k. And we are officially confused. Why? Well, we happen to have more than a few pictures of Miley making out with all kinds of suitors, starting back when she was 14. So where's our cash? After the jump, see how the magic of Google can instantly debunk all the heated speculation on when Miley will have her first kiss, and when, oh when, will we get to see them. The time is now, Defamer readers:

• OMG smoking gun: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hugging and holding hands and putting their faces close together and everything! It's nearly almost practically lesbian kissing, and thus proof that they are girlfriends in that way. [Egotastic] (Photo via Egotastic)