According to weather reports, the blizzard that's dumped on the Southeast is headed our (New York's) way! There is a "Winter Storm Watch" in effect today for many parts of the Northeast! SNOWMAGEDDON 2010!?!?!?!? Let's get panicky, sweaty, ready.

City lawyers say the 2008 tasering of a naked, mentally ill Brooklyn man, Iman Morales, by the NYPD was "reasonable," even though he fell to his death from a 10-foot ledge. Reasonable would be, say, pulling the man down. [NYDN]

Some rich New Yorkers are missing a lot of fancy art: In November, thieves carved a hole into the wall of a Greenwich Village apartment from the hallway, disabled cameras and made off with nearly $1 million in modern art.

Google's snapping up of the massive 111 Eighth Avenue office building in Chelsea, where it already occupies 550,000 square feet, is an even pricier purchase than previously thought, the Post's Lois Weiss reports.

The Cherry Lane Theater, once the stomping grounds of writers like O'Neill, Odets, and Beckett, is shutting down. The owner bemoans the current theater need to "hav[e] a film star in...productions... I don't want to do theater like that."

The amount of profane graffiti in the Brooklyn Criminal Court's men's bathrooms has gotten out of control. So bad, in fact, that even the offenders are offended: "It makes it depressing to come here," one lawbreaker told the Daily News.

[A harried mail worker tries to keep up with the packages today at the James A. Farley Post Office in Manhattan. Today is traditionally the busiest mail day of the year. Image via Getty]

A Gawker spy spotted world's most perfect person Gwyneth Paltrow dining at Torrisi in Manhattan's Nolita neighborhood today. Look at all that food! [Seen someone special? Email us or post it to #stalker yourself.]

On Saturday morning, 27 year-old Citigroup associate Jessica Fashano—by all accounts a bright, caring, and popular woman—walked into the Trump Place tower on Manhattan's Riverside Boulevard, rode to the roof, and jumped off. Why?

Five tickets to Game One of the 2009 World Series at Yankee Stadium just cost Gov. David Paterson $62,125.

Shootings have inspired a program to equip select New York taxi drivers with bullet proof vests.

[Sure, it was probably cold as hell for this ironworker on the 52nd floor of One World Trade Center today, but what a view! Image via AP]

Accused of raping starlets, movie composer Joseph Brooks appeared in court today, four days after his son appeared in the same courthouse for attempted murder. Just like in the movies, the bailiffs broke into song: "It's a family affa-a-air." [NYDN]

The New York Times has funneled new Census Bureau data into a handy ethnic map of New York City. This is Brooklyn: Each blue dot equals 100 black people, each green dot 100 white people. Never the twain shall meet.

If you want to become a New York City firefighter, you'd better hit the books, because the department's stringent entrance exam requires that you understand things like electricity and how to open doors.

Awful New York state senator Pedro Espada, known for suckling shamelessly at the public teat, has been indicted (along with his son) for embezzling brazenly from a health care network he controlled. An example, you ask?

David W. Johnson, the extremely close aide to New York Gov. David Paterson who was charged this year with assaulting his girlfriend—a case that unraveled his boss' political career—was finally fired today after nine months of unpaid leave.

A 31-year-old Brooklynite stabbed his mother to death and slashed his father before running to Windsor Terrace's G-train station and throwing himself into the rails, to the horror of commuters.

Williamsburg is the "new front line of the gentrification battle." Who knew?

The Post has uncovered an evil, stealthy assault on Christmas and it's coming from a place you'd least expect it — the YMCA! Yes, Manhattan's McBurney Y is snubbing Santa Claus for Frosty the Snowman at this year's kids luncheon.