The New Republic, a small magazine and chronically unsuccessful business enterprise, turned its attention today to the problems and prospects of the New York Times, a large and historically solvent newspaper. What should the Times do? Who ought to buy the Times? What does Times executive editor Jill Abramson plan to do to get things "figured out"?

Andrew Ross Sorkin, the whiz kid-ish New York Times Dealbook reporter, sometimes gets unfairly characterized as a bootlicking Wall Street suckup who wants only to ingratiate himself with the powerful. Other times—like today—that characterization is completely fair.

Early this morning, the New York Times unveiled a 2,878-word, A1 investigation into the Clinton Foundation, the eponymous philanthropic arm of the Clinton family’s equally unquenchable ambitions. “PAPER TAKES DOWN CLINTON FOUNDATION,” Drudge trumpeted; “devastating,” The Telegraph gasped. Uh, but: the piece doesn’t seem to have much of a point. Is the Times trying to say something it can’t print?

New York Times employee Daniel Slotnik is now chiming in on Twitter to say that the Times' website failure is due to a simple system malfunction, which contradicts a Fox Business report that the site is suffering a "cyber attack."

Today the Times got a quick look at the tax returns of Eliot Spitzer, the rich, disgraced former governor of New York who is now running for comptroller of New York City. Following pressure from his main opponent, the Lena Dunham-endorsed Scott Stringer, Spitzer invited a Times reporter to inspect the last two years of his and his wife's tax returns.

In the wake of this week's surprise sale of the Washington Post to Amazon kingpin Jeff Bezos, it's only natural that the shock waves would roll up north, to the hallowed halls of the New York Times. Would the Times be the next vaunted legacy media property to fall into the soft hands of an internet-rich arriviste (like the Post, like The New Republic, etc.)? According to a new email circulated tonight through the Times Company, from chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and vice chairman Michael Goldman, the answer to that is no.

This weekend, The New York Times Co. sold the Boston Globe to John W. Henry, the owner of the Boston Red Sox. Henry paid $70 million. (Or negative $40 million, by more realistic calculations.) Oddly, several other bidders made higher bids than Henry. Why did the NYT Co. leave that money on the table?

Today in the Paper of Record: a slideshow of fit, shirtless men. "Clickity click click click click." -Adolph S. Ochs.

Paul Browne, the NYPD's longtime spokesman, is retiring. It is a well-established and irrefutable fact that Paul Browne is a liar. The New York Times knows this. They'll even write about it. They just can't come right out and say it.

Earlier today, the New York Post reported that Liam Gallagher is being sued for $3 million by a woman claiming to have had a “love child” with the former Oasis frontman. Standard enough tabloid fodder, right? But now comes a report that the woman is New York Times contributor Liza Ghorbani, who wrote about Gallagher for the paper in 2010.

In its most recent Sunday Styles section, the New York Times published a 4,800-word story headlined, "Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too." One reporter spent a full five months working exclusively on this patronizing abomination.

A coveted job writing for the New York Times op-ed page is considered one of the most exclusive gigs in journalism. And with good reason: the unparalleled intellect and experience of their columnists are simply without equal. Where else will you find some middle-aged dad with the wit and bravery necessary to proclaim: hey, I don't care for this "Twitter" thing?

The New York Times supplied a copy of Mark Leibovich's obsessively anticipated study of Washington self-obsession, This Town, to onetime Boston Globe Washington bureau chief David Shribman—who now does something or other in Pennsylvania or maybe Ohio?—and the paper was rewarded with a book review that begins like this:

A blogger for The New York Times has been requesting thousands of dollars in "expenses" and travel airfare from a public relations firm trying to get its clients covered in the Times, according to emails obtained by Gawker.

The New York Times' "Room for Debate" online feature is grappling with the news that Sushi Yasada Yasuda—where lunch bills seem to run in the triple figures—has implemented a no-tipping policy, because it pays its staff full salary and benefits, as is the "custom in Japan."

New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. is dating again. Capital New York's Joe Pompeo reports that Sulzberger's newest girlfriend is a private equity director named Gabrielle Greene.

Today in Important Headlines: "Is Interracial Marriage Still Scandalous?"

After writing two (2) columns about his daughter's college roommate, Thomas Friedman follows up with a column today that consists largely of quotes from a week-old David Simon essay. Thomas Friedman is no longer even trying.

Andrew Rosenthal, New York Times editorial page editor, says he sees nothing wrong with changing yesterday's Obama-NSA editorial to soften a sentence that originally read, "The administration has now lost all credibility." "We didn’t soften it one iota from its original intent," Rosenthal told the Times' public editor.