When we tossed off an end-of-day link to this $350 Snakes on a Plane-inspired necklace—designed, incidentally, by a real, live, and credited Snakes on a Plane cast member!—we thought: OK, a bit overpriced, but cute enough. It was soon pointed out to us that we somehow missed the $3,900.00 version (pictured) also on offer at the website, a luxury bauble priced out of the range of pretty much everyone but the foul-mouthed guy who's actually flinging interloping reptiles around the economy class cabin. Diamond-encrusted snakes on an eighteen-carat-gold plane makes us so very, very tired.

LA-based electronica duo Captain Ahab (link possibly NSFW, based on how your workplace feels about two shirtless dudes in the throws of Satanic embrace) won New Line's Snakes on a Plane songwriting contest with their catchy ditty, "Snakes On My Brain." (You can hear it at their MySpace page.) The win guaranteed them a spot on the SoaP soundtrack, and, according to a Craiglist posting, a bootylicious video. Seeking generously bottomed lady-types, or, as the ad puts it, "dirty dirty girls who want to shake their asses," the very low-rent (and, we think, no-paying) gig asks the aspiring skanklets to outfit themselves in the finest ho'-wear. Suggestions include:

· Pity TV development executives, whose summer vacation plans are ruined by the current shift to year-round programming. [Variety]
· The festivities in honor of Paramount's We're Number Two! Week continue, as THR hoists once-embattled studio president Gail Berman on its shoulders and parades her around the Melrose lot to celebrate Nacho Libre's strong second-place opening. [THR]
· Today's opening of Click should serve as the John the Baptist for the twin blockbuster Christs that will deliver Hollywood unto summer box office salvation, Superman Returns and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. [Variety]
· THR's Up With Female Studio Execs Day also features a fine piece on how Stacey Snider is doing in her new gig at DreamWorks. [THR]
· New Line unambiguously declares its desire to be in the "rakish-but-charming bachelor finally opens up his heart and meets the woman of his dreams" business, signing up Matthew McConaughey's production company to a development deal and working to insert the actor into two of its pre-existing comedy vehicles. [Variety]

Back in November, New Line teased us by whispering in our ear the tantalizing news that it had secured the services of the entire Rush Hour team for the franchise's third installment, providing celebrated fauxteur Brett Ratner with all the tools necessary to fully exploit his hacky gifts. (For example, had Tucker not signed on, Ratner would've been forced to replace him with a stand-in pinching the air out of a balloon, a crude substitute for the actor's trademark high-pitched whine that would've severely hamstrung his cinematic vision.) With the director's support system all in place, Variety reports that New Line has finally greenlighted the Paris-set pic, which will start production late this summer for a release in the summer of 2007. We know that movie magic takes time to properly conjure, but a year seems like an unspeakably cruel amount of time to have to wait to see Tucker and Jackie Chan engaged in a hilarious, language-barrier-hampered argument with a stereotypically rude French waiter, in which none of three agitated parties has any idea why a Chinese gang has decided to terrorize the French capital.

· Because no hit musical can go unadapted into an underwhelming big-screen adaption, Tom Hanks' Playtone has reached a deal to produce a movie version of the ABBA-infused hit Mamma Mia! [Variety]
· Emmy-winning TV director and producer Scott Brazil, executive producer on The Shield, died Monday from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and Lyme disease at the age of 50. [THR]
· Because no heartwarming, disability-related true story of athletic triumph can go untranslated into a big-screen spectacle, Columbia will produce a movie about the heartwarming true story of autistic high school basketball player Jason McElwain. [Variety]
· Hey, guess what! Lots of people still like to watch American Idol and House. [THR]
· New Line buys the comedy pitch Me, Me, Me about "the world's most obnoxious narcissist, who wishes people could be more like him and then enters a living hell when his dream becomes a reality," i.e., he goes clubbing on Hollywood Boulevard. [Variety]

Today's Hollywood Reporter delves into the phenomenon of Snakes on a Plane's still-growing pre-release buzz, which has elevated the once-languishing turnaround project with a "stupid title" to beloved fanboy event movie. In fact, New Line seems so in tune with the internet chatter (amazing that this is the same studio that gave us Virtual Paul Walker going down on his digital wife, isn't it?) that they shot five days of additional footage, which they claim is to push the movie deeper into R-rated territory, but will also include more nods to SoaP's online fanbase:

Entertainment Weekly has been granted a first look at the official Snakes on a Plane logo (left, as if you couldn't tell on your own), which director David R. Ellis tells the magazine was based on fan art like the above example submitted by one of our readers back in September. (If you want one that's really similar—if much more psychedelic— take a look at this entry from a recent, brilliant Fark Photoshop contest.) Not that it takes a genius to throw together a couple of snakes and an airliner after the heavy conceptual lifting's already been done by the movie's self-consciously B-flick title, but at least the New Line folks seem to be paying attention to their potential audience, who may abandon their blogs long enough to show up on opening night wearing flight attendant uniforms and covered in rubber cobras.

Travolta as JR Ewing? Yeah, not so much. But Benicio Del Toro as the Wolf Man, well, we can get behind that. [Variety]
Desiring his own 8 Mile or Get Rich or Die Tryin', Kanye West hooks up with New Line to produce a film inspired by his music. [THR]
MPAA head Dan Glickman plans a "Got Milk?"-esque PR campaign for a beleaguered film industry desperate to revive the public's interest in the moviegoing experience. The campaign is still in its early planning stages, with creatives trying to distill the phrase, "What are you going to do, stay at home and talk to that bitch wife of yours?" into just a couple of pithy words. [Variety]
Pilotmania! Stanley Tucci will star in an untitled CBS drama pilot, Campbell Scott is in negotiations for ABC's Six Degrees, Andrew McCarthy joins CBS drama The Way, and Marla Sokoloff leads ABC's comedy A Day in the Life. [THR]
Sarah Jesscia Parker will produce a half-hour comedy series based on Washingtonienne, blogger Jessica Cutler's novel about her DC-based, anal-tastic sexcapades (first brought to light by Original Wonkette Ana Marie Cox) for HBO. [Variety]

New Line signs up John Travolta and Queen Latifah to star in the movie adaptation of the Hairspray musical, with Travolta logically playing the role originated by Divine, John Waters' cross-dressing muse. What? Travolta and Divine both have unusually large heads, OK? [Variety]
THR notes that this year's Oscar season is full of "serious" nominees, relatively devoid of dirty campaigning. Yeah, we kind of miss Harvey Weinstein, too. [THR]
Hollywood proves it can be generous when promised a big party, as Variety and Jeffrey Kazenberg's Night Before event has raised $6 million for the Motion Picture and Television Fund. [Variety]
MTV2 makes a content deal with YouTube, enabling the website to serve up annoying Andy Milonakis clips alongside its already impressive catalogue of Brokeback parodies. [THR]
The Idol ratings juggernaut has a dark side (well, besides the obvious ones): Wednesday night's show drove Lost to a season low number for a first-run episode. Not cool, Fox. Hey, how about counterprogramming Desperate Housewives instead? [Variety]

As Paul Walker Week draws to a close here at Defamer, we'd like to spotlight PopWatch's interview with the newly ubiquitous actor, who finally answers the burning question about what it's like to be the world's most famous virtual cunnilingus back-of-head model:

We were perhaps too distracted by our repeated, failed attempts to please Paul Walker's horny virtual wife to consider the potential privacy-violating implications of turning over our personal information in exchange for a crack at New Line's online game for Running Scared. BoingBoing's Xeni Jardin immediately smelled something wrong (or at least got tipped to the weirdness by G3k) with the website's supposed age-verification system:

· Tom Freston unveils the new Viacom for investors, which will adhere to a "two-pronged approach" of domestic niches and international expansion. Other prongs left unmentioned: fucking CBS Corp. employees out of everything they can, and laying off enough of their own Paramount workforce to start a studio of their own. [Variety]
· The always resourceful Universal finds a way to turn Curious George into a simian whore, placing products throughout the incorrigible monkey's animated movie. [THR]
· Six Oscar nominations (and a clever in-store display that hisses racial epithets at nearby shoppers) trick unwitting consumers into a Crash DVD purchase, causing video sales of the movie to jump 150%. The Constant Gardener and Cinderella Man DVDs also received boosts from Academy Awards nods. [Variety]
· Director Catherine Hardwicke is in negotiations to direct a movie about the life of the Virgin Mary before the birth of Christ for New Line. Please, God, let them skip the interactive sex games for this one. [THR]
· Affleck's career gets temporary stay of execution: Ben Affleck is finally successful in begging movie-star buddy Matt Damon to do another movie with him, as Touchstone makes a deal for a film starring the pair as real-life lawyers who exonerated a death row inmate. [Variety]

Ain't It Cool News has come across perhaps the greatest promotion in the history of soon-to-be-doomed movies. Visitors to the website of New Line's Running Scared can take part in a highly immersive interactive experience (you must be 17 years old to play—wink wink, horny fifth graders!), becoming a virtual, cunnilingus-craving version of Paul Walker:

· Hollywood seems disappointed with the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century, which so far lacks enough sizzle and star power to get even a TBS movie greenlit. [Variety]
· The Super Bowl is the most-watched in 10 years, and the most-watched TV program since 1996, with 90.7 million viewers. Grey's Anatomy, rapidly becoming the most hit-protected show in the history of the medium, hangs on to 38.1 million of those viewers after the big game. Is all the special ratings protection just because ABC's Steve McPherson can't wait to see if the doctor who looks like Renee Zellweger will ever get back together with the pizza delivery guy from Loverboy, or are incriminating telephone recordings of the ABC topper involved? Eh, maybe we have Pellicano on the brain and McPherson just loves his stories. [THR]
· Disney sells their radio stations to Citadel Broadcasting in order to ease the $7.4 billion sticker shock from buying Pixar. [Variety]
· Here's as big of a casting about-face as you'll ever see: Steve Buscemi is in "final negotiations" to take Will Arnett's place in New Line's the-wacky-things-drug-dealers-will-do-for-money comedy We're the Millers. [THR]
· ABC and Endemol are importing the Spanish reality hit Operacion Triunfo, a "mash up" (we hear the kids love their mash-ups!) of American Idol and Big Brother, or, to simplify the concept for you, Making the Band with some judging bolted on. [Variety]

We recently received an e-mail plea from a New Line staffer begging us to solicit support for beloved local Robertson Blvd. food cart vendor "Antonio the hot dog guy," whom the owner of a newly opened accessories store called Surly Girl is attempting to displace. Knowing every story has two sides, and being fans in equal measure of both fiery sausage and Swarovski-crystal-encrusted calculators alike (see their online catalog: "Very, very trendy and cool purses!" says Ryan Seacrest we shit you not), we stayed safely out of the matter. Today, Page Six stokes the flames:

· Not everyone in Hollywood is getting shitcanned this week: Fox renews studio co-chairmen Jim Gianopulos and Tom Rothman's contracts for another five years, names them both CEO, and, just because they were on a roll, gave them each a pony. Yay! [Variety]
· Amanda Peet will join Matthew Perry in the cast of Aaron "Any similiarties to SNL are completely incidental" Sorkin's NBC show, currently titled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. More good news: Rob Corddry's hilarious little brother has also been cast. [THR]
· Studios announce their entries in the 2006 Christmas-season box office cockfight: On December 22, Universal will bring Evan Almighty and The Good Shepherd, Fox goes with Night at the Museum, and Paramount throws in Charlotte's Web. [Variety]
· Yes, Brandi, there is a God: CMT will run an eight-episode reality series about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader tryouts. As if that weren't generous enough, they're also doing a series trying to crown the best Coyote Ugly dancer. Fuck you, Bravo, CMT now owns our hearts. [THR]
· Perhaps smelling Jamie Foxx/Joaquin Phoenix awards buzz potential, New Line acquires the Duke Ellington pitch The Jazz Ambassadors for Morgan Freeman. [Variety]

A reader cringed at this unexpected overshare in today's Variety, nestled in a story about Shrek
director Victoria Jenson signing on to New Line's Four Christmases, a movie about a couple who must visit all four households of their divorced parents on one incredibly wacky Christmas Day:

We apologize for some earlier confusion regarding the photo from today's Trade Round-Up post; Variety initially had misidentified the headshots of former UTA agent Marty Bowen and his soon-to-be New Line producing partner, Wyck Godfrey, and we incorrectly identified the black-and-white, yearbooky image as that of Bowen, not Godfrey. Now that the Variety snafu is cleared up, Godfrey's office was kind enough to supply us with a photo more representative of the producer's current, decidedly less monochromatic look, with which we're happy to correct the record.

· As chattered about yesterday, UTA agent Marty Bowen leaves the agency for a producing deal at New Line (with Davis Entertainment president Wyck Godfrey). Kudos to Var for apparently digging up Bowen's Godfrey's high school yearbook photo (at left—update: we obviously had no idea what either of them look like) to illustrate their story. Update: A more recent picture of Godfrey is here. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg will executive produce another Sci Fi Channel miniseries, this time about grieving people who find a way to reconnect with their departed loved ones via near-death experiences, Nine Lives. We still prefer to commune with the dead through Jennifer Love Hewitt's rack. [THR]
· Midseason Series DeathWatch: ABC will yank Emily's Reasons Why Not and Jake in Progress after just one airing to re-run the Bachelor season premiere on Monday, but the shows are "scheduled" to return on Jan. 23rd. You know, unless more compelling opportunities to replace Monday Night Football with reality show repeats present themselves. [Variety]
· West Coast exec VP Marc Graboff is promoted to West Coast president of NBC Universal TV. In related news, NBC president Kevin Reilly still has his job, for now. [THR]
· Like the desperate guy who starts calling a girl who just gave up the digits before she's even left the bar, Showtime sends out its Emmy screeners an unprecedented five months early. [Variety]
· In the New Line romantic comedy Bridge and Tunnel, Jennifer Lopez will star as a stock trader HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No, really! J Lo as a stock trader! Sorry, did we just lose our shit a little? Yes, we did. [Variety]

· Var reports on yesterday's New Line layoffs (two dozen let go just in time for the holidays!), but says "no top execs were axed." We've heard that VPs Matt Moore and George Waud were among the purged, who many tell us should qualify as "top level execs." Developing... [Variety]
· Potentially great news for Arrested Development fans: Though FOX hasn't "officially" canceled AD yet, there are "serious" talks between 20th Century Fox TV and Showtime and ABC to find the series a new model home. We've heard rumblings (there we go hearing things again) that the Showtime deal might be close to completion, but we've been hurt before. [Variety, THR]
· The grown-up sons of Tito Jackson are shopping around a reality series in which they try to recapture the musical semi-fame of their youth. No further commentary necessary. [THR]
· Jamie Foxx will star in adaptation of James Stetson novel Blood on the Leaves for Paramount, as a "district attorney who grapples with feelings of revenge as he prosecutes a black history professor on trial for the murders of white men accused of crimes against blacks during the civil rights movement," Sadly, it looks like Foxx's vaunted musical skills will go unutilized in the role. [Variety]
· Disney's first attempt to tap into the Chinese entertainment market involves unraveling the secrets of a magic gourd. [THR]
· Now officially famous for becoming the new James Bond, Daniel Craig signs over ten percent of his soul to CAA. [Variety]