"My mom's cat was dying," a woman in a white blouse dotted with holographic silver sequins explains. ("I live in a community of healers," she told me earlier, in the same breezy, dismissive manner one might use to say in Queens.) "Couldn't eat. Had lost half her fur. And he saved her life."
I've been listening to fake guru voices, watching videos of charismatic new age leaders, and making cosmic GIFs for two months, nonstop, as a way to make amends for the emotional damage I inflicted on office drones a few months ago. This—Introspections.me—is the result. I feel like it's warped my mind.
Russell Simmons initially got famous by starting up Def Jam, a hip hop label that was, believe it or not, dynamic and countercultural. And cool! That was a long, long time ago. What is Russell up to today? Oh, just defending Fox News chief Roger Ailes (again):
New age "guru" and friend of Oprah, James A. Ray — who charged people $10,000 to enter his Arizona sweat lodge of death, resulting in the deaths of three people in 2009 — was found guilty of negligent homicide yesterday.
A small French farming village is facing an influx of UFO watchers and assorted New Age idiots who believe aliens are hiding underneath a nearby mountain, waiting for the 2012 Apocalypse. The mayor wants the army to be on call.
Glenn Beck's going to be taking some time off next week to get some hospital tests done for "problems with feeling in his hands and feet." But he said the real problem could be "spiritual wounds." Wacky explanation video below!
We always thought 'rolfing' was what you did after doing four tequila shots in a Daytona Beach sports bar. Turns out it's a violent and painful, New Age-y massage technique. And it's having a moment. Let's all get rolfed!
Before three people died in his sweat lodge of horror, James Arthur Ray told them to "surrender to death to survive it." The police report is out, and it's thirty-three pages of insanity, chronicling Ray's sordid career and stanky retreat.
So, that horrifying sweat lodge where Oprah-endorsed guru James Arthur Ray may or may not have inadvertently killed three people? NYT has some new eye witness reports, and they're as scary, icky, and infuriatingly New-Agey as you thought.
