The week's not complete until bulldog-cute Mahalo chief Jason Calacanis writes in. Today JC emailed twice to call out a gaping hole in the much-discussed New Dentonomics of our 2008 Valleywag pay scale. His numbers are out of date; our new pageview rate for the second quarter is in, and it's $6.50 per thousand pageviews. But Calacanis spotted a bigger slap to the face than the CPM, one so big that Portfolio blogger Felix Salmon will have to do a whole 'nother post now to say he knew it all along. Can you guess what it is?

Our commenters are revolting. Specifically, over our continuing coverage of Jason Calacanis, who is famous on the Internet for owning two adorable bulldogs. But there's something charming about the sheer clumsiness of Calacanis's relentless hucksterism. Take the live broadcast he conducted to beg Chris Shipley, the producer of tech-startup conference Demo, to come work on Calacanis and Michael Arrington's rival TechCrunch50 conference. "Be part of the winning team! We are the street level team ... blue collar. Everybody needs to support the Jason Nation." J-Dawg, with that headset look, shouldn't you be playing CounterStrike? And on what planet are you and Arrington "blue-collar"? I can only imagine what Arrington said to you when you tried to put him on the speaker — no doubt something as subtle and polite as "Demo needs to die." The video:

Conference gnomes will need to choose sides. Blog moguls Jason Calacanis and Michael Arrington have teamed up to schedule their TechCrunch50 show in September in direct competition to Chris Shipley's Demofall event. I've prepared a cheat sheet to follow the action at a distance.

Once the top bulldog, Jason Calacanis had climbed back to No. 2 on Twitterholic, outranked only by Barack Obama — only to be struck from the ranks. Twitterholic is a favored popularity index among The 250 and their many spam-loving followers. The reason for the booting? An April Fools' stunt which was never reversed, putting Robert Scoble back in second, and first in the key chubby, aging white-man demo — and giving us one more reason to hate April Fools' Day.

It takes a brave man to get in the middle of TechCrunch's bloggin' VC Michael Arrington and PaidContent founding editor Rafat Ali as they duke it out over the future of their micromedia empires. Timesman Saul Hansell is nothing but brave. In a Bits blog post, he quotes Rafat Ali's new hired hand Nathan Richardson saying that PaidContent differentiates itself from TechCrunch, Silicon Alley Insider and our own Valleywag because it "has not gone down the road of following personal foibles." Then, towards the end of the piece, Ali himself suggeests that Arrington is thinking too small by gunning for CNET:

The latest flaming bomb from Mac blogger John Gruber: "How Leander Kahney Got Everything Wrong by Being a Fucking Jackass." Kahney's sin? Writing Wired's latest cover story, ""How Apple Got Everything Right by Doing Everything Wrong." Kahney's thesis: Apple succeeds despite violating Google's "don't be evil" rules of business. Gruber's response? Name-calling, starting in the headline. Gruber attacks with stabbing frenzy:

Wired editor Leander Kahney went up against Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs character in a three-round mano-a-mano debate about Apple. Lyons completely wipes the floor with Kahney. Did Wired ever think this would be a fair fight? This utterly unlevel playing field shows why we're glad we were wrong about Leander Kahney being Fake Steve. This short excerpt really sums it up:

Mahalo founder Jason Calacanis will host a dinner at New York Chinese restaurant Golden Unicorn tonight. He's calling it Dim Sum 2.0. I'm going, but not for the lazy susan full of food. The last time Calacanis hosted one of these during a trip to New York, it was the night after Calacanis and DealBreaker blogger John Carney nearly came to blows. At the end of a fundraiser for Mouse, Carney allegedly told Calacanis "I will #&%$!ing drop you to the floor." The pair didn't come to blows, but maybe they just needed a little encouragement?

When techies get mad, as they did when Sarah Lacy interviewed Mark Zuckerberg at SXSW, they Twitter furiously. When they're still seething later, it seems, they put those Twitters in a spreadsheet and analyze them. Hence, Somewhere Inc. CEO Kee Hinckley's Anatomy of a Mob, which charts the frequency of the top 50 words Twittered over the hour Lacy and Zuckerberg spoke. Hinckley's conclusion: "The Twitter transcript makes it clear that there was an early and constant stream of negative comments flowing from a large number of senders." Lacy has cited live blog coverage as evidence that the mood stayed positive until the last 15 minutes of the interview; Hinckley's analysis — though relying on Twitter — would seem to argue against that. Even so, Hinckley is sympathetic: "She didn't deserve the abuse that was dished out on Twitter, let alone what happened in the auditorium." After the jump, an annotated video showing the Twitter reaction in sync with the interview.

Anonymous, the culty group with origins on the 4chan message board, began a war on Scientology after some blog posted a clip of Scientologist Tom Cruise acting erratically enthusiastic. How did they strike back against this online video? By holding real-world protests whose only noticeable result was more videos. Now, in a YouTube video titled "Hate Crimes & Terrorism Directed at Scientology," Scientology is fighting back. With Hollywood production values. This war will not end until one of the sides hires Chris Crocker. Below, the clip whose slickness is meant to terrorize the Web into submission:

Head TechCruncher Michael Arrington noted three separate times on Twitter today that TechCrunch had "broken" the AOL buys Bebo news last month. Then he zings BoomTown's Kara Swisher, who'd dismissed the rumors earlier: "hmm didn't someone say Bebo wasn't for sale? http://tinyurl.com/2t5mch" That's great, Michael, but don't break your arm patting yourself on the back. You might need it to write more Twitters. It's also worth noting that Eric Eldon at VentureBeat broke the Bebo story months before Arrington's "exclusive" when he reported that Bebo had hired a bank. See Arrington's entire Twitterpated output below:

Automattic, Matt Mullenweg's blog-tools startup, is readying an upgrade to its WordPress software this week. Anil Dash of Six Apart took the occasion to let WordPress users know they can upgrade to his company's Movable Type instead. It's a move straight out of Oracle's handbook. But Mullenweg freaked out, calling the post "desperate and dirty." Dash responded by charging Mullenweg with "slander." Some are under the delusion that this nerdfight is about software. It's not. It's about money.

Back in 2002, Eliot Spitzer, then New York's attorney general, published internal emails from Merrill Lynch analyst Henry Blodget . Blodget was shown trashing stocks he had publicly touted. The SEC charged Blodget with fraud and eventually banned him from the securities industry for life. Now Blodget edits Silicon Alley Insider. Look who's publishing now.

In a recent blog post, Jason Calacanis predicts that "Google will have 90 percent search market share in the U.S. one year from now." That leaves little room for Calacanis's own Mahalo. So how'd he bring himself to say it?

Announcing Microsoft Online Services yesterday, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates let fly on Google. "Their economic model is based on consumer search," Gates said.

TED, the schmoozeathon taking place in Monterey right now, prides itself on staying exclusive and bringing together only the best of Silicon Valley, Hollywood, and Manhattan. TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington is deeply unhappy that he's not invited. So much so that he staged a falling-out with Frenchepreneur Loic Le Meur, a gloating TED attendee. But he's really going to boil when he reads this: The complete list of TED's 1,198 attendees, each of whom he is now personally committed to hate. Arrington's new enemies list includes Al Gore, Amy Tan, Arianna Huffington, Ben Affleck, Cameron Diaz, Forest Whitaker, Isaac Mizrahi, Jeff Bezos, John Cusack, Maria Bartiromo, Marissa Mayer, Max Levchin, Meg Ryan, Peter Thiel, Roger McNamee, Si Newhouse IV, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Steve Case, Steve Wozniak, Thomas Dolby, Tim O'Reilly, and Will Smith. The rest are here.

TechCrunch's Michael Arrington and Frenchman Loic Le Meur got into a 140-character Twitter war this afternoon. The topic? The TED conference and French military history. Arrington said TED is lame because he wasn't given a free pass: "I defame anything cool that ignores me, until it stops doing so. it's worked so far." Loic defended the conference: "TED is the best conference... Pay your tickets it's worth it!" Arrington and Loic then claim to "remove" each other from their friends lists and Arrington made some tired jokes about France's inability to win a war.

Venture capitalist Fred Wilson has lashed out at TechCrunch over its coverage of some startup you've never heard of. TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington responded by accusing Wilson of being biased. I'd summarize the whole spat for you, but Wilson's and Arrington's Twitters have done the job already.

Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang has lost control of the Yahoo board. New Yahoo chairman Roy Bostock and billionaire Ron Burkle now lead a majority contingent which worries CEO Jerry Yang has let his emotions override his duty to shareholders in the face of Microsoft's takeover attempt. Support for Yang's efforts to resist Microsoft has dwindled to just Softbank's Eric Hippeau and Activision CEO Robert Kotick, the New York Post reports.