· Taylor Hackford is set to direct Tenn, about Tennessee Williams's formative years. It's being financed by the same company that brought you Capote, the second part of their planned Great Sissies of History trilogy that will conclude with the harrowing fitness-empire biodrama, Simmons. [Variety] · Author Plum Sykes is co-writing a sitcom pilot for NBC called Mogulettes, about young, beautiful she-captains of industry. No one remotely suspects what they're hiding in their pantyhose! [Variety] · The End of Ideas: We Can't Even Really Be Bothered To Type Out The Rest of This Etc. Etc. Edition: A TV version of The Witches of Eastwick gets a pilot pickup at ABC. [Variety] · Starz's Vongo and Morgan Freeman's ClickStar both shutter their internet-movie-download operations. [Variety] · Oh, for the love of God: "CBS is saying aloha to a new installment of the Hawaii Five-O franchise from Criminal Minds exec producer/showrunner Ed Bernero." Aloha means goodbye in this instance, we hope. [THR]

They were the Olympic opening ceremonies that wowed the world with their stunning displays of Socialist sophistication— but were they on the level? Allegations are flying that Chinese authorities faked certain parts of the broadcast, even going so far as to replace a singing 7-year-old who organizers deemed not hot enough to serve as the face of young China. Says HuffPo of the last-minute switch:

NBC has billions riding on the Olympics, and no amount of whining from sports fans is going to make them screw it up. Many fans are-not outraged, but mildly peeved-that some premier events at the '04 games were shown on tape delay, after everybody had a chance to find out who won on the nifty internet. So NBC made the Olympic Committee schedule too-popular swimmer Michael Phelps' races when they could be shown during prime time. Oh, the things that hundreds of millions of dollars can buy. And, deep down, we all sympathize with NBC: destroy whatever is necessary to fulfill America's greedy need for live-action gold, we say!

Candace Bushnell has so much to answer for. First her literary career spawned a flood of mimics. Now the same is happening with TV: Variety reports that Bergdorf Blondes author Plum Sykes is writing a TV show for NBC entitled Mogulettes, "a half-hour comedy about female tycoons." The idea for the show, which will be written with Amy Harris, came from Sykes, apparently, and not from Bushnell's Lipstick Jungle, another NBC show about, oh yes, powerful businesswomen. To be fair, Mogulettes does sound different from Lipstick: It will center around "the leader of a cosmetics empire," which was Bonnie Somerville's character in Cashmere Mafia. Anyway, Variety points out that the version of Bergdorf Blondes Sykes developed for the WB died a death so, you know, small mercies.

Now that Jay Leno has entered the lame duck phase of his relationship with the Peacock network, it appears that he's decided to abuse his position as America's top-rated celebrity interviewer as fuel for his sexual reveries for many moons to come. While interviewing a crestfallen Scarlett Johansson on Friday night about Vicky Christina Barcelona (itself a rather sexually charged subject), noted auto enthusiast Jay figured he'd use the opportunity to engage the voluptuous starlet in some automobile-related foreplay. You see, he had done some research in advance of the chat and discovered that Scarlett told a lad mag that her number one sexual fantasy involved having sex in a car. But while Jay stopped just short of confessing that he has Crash playing on an infinite loop in his 17,000 square foot warehouse / garage, it was clear by reading his clearly flabbergasted guest's face that she's rather looking forward to sitting next to Conan O'Brien the next time she makes her way through Burbank. [The Tonight Show]

George W. Bush has been celebrating the twilight of his disastrous presidency by seemingly spending the entirety of 2008 overseas. Right now, as NBC constantly reminds us, he's in Beijing, enjoying the Olympics. Also with him is internationally beloved teddy bear war criminal Henry Kissinger! (Read on to learn why this is yet another example of how terrible NBC is.)

Perhaps you recall that time Today show host Kathie Lee Gifford interrupted "Sam the Cooking Guy" one too many times, prompting the chef to ask, "Can't I talk?" The Times today notes that Gifford has become a "lightning rod for ridicule" in the wake of the video and asks if the incident is part of a broader trend — the trend of Kathie Lee Gifford being THE DEVIL. "Every time that fourth hour comes on, I can literally feel my body temperature rising," a Las Vegas schoolteacher told the paper. "The way she always talks over poor Hoda [Kotb] and the guests and is just constantly talking about herself." Also, there's an "I Hate Kathy [sic] Lee Gifford," Facebook group with all of four members. But NBC likes her because at least people are talking. Lesson: In television, memorable is better than tactful. Which, come to think of it, is exactly the formulation the chef used when he told off Gifford. Click the video icon to watch the incident. [Times]

The folks who are bringing you the Olympics online don't actually want you to watch their coverage. NBC and Microsoft are delaying the most popular events by three hours so that it won't interfere with more profitable TV broadcasts. And you'll have to download Microsoft's Silverlight browser plug-in to watch in your browser. But a bird's nest of geography and time-delay restrictions worthy of China's Communist Party government is in place. Thankfully, the anarchy of the Web offers plenty of options for having a crowd of curious coworkers surround your computer as you watch live handball, with varying degrees of expense and difficulty. Rather than being the coming-out party for Silverlight Microsoft hopes for, it may instead be the year sports fans learn a few new online-video tricks.Online schedules: NBC's Olympics listings takes a bit of work (you have to enter your ZIP code and select a television provider, even if you just want online listings). However, once you've done the work, it'll send you notifications when events you've selected will be broadcast. Jason Kottke has found Google and iCal calendars, which will allow you a bit more flexibility in setting up alerts, and the New York Times has a schedule as well. And of course, there's an official schedule from the organizers in China, with times listed for Beijing's time zone (16 hours ahead of San Francisco, 13 hours ahead of New York) — probably the best place to go for daily updates, as smog and weather may upset the schedule. Sling Media's Slingbox: For those with more money than time, the best solution might be a Slingbox. Then you can beam your home satellite or cable signal over the Internet to your laptop, desktop, or iPhone, and remotely switch between NBC and MSNBC. Pros: You can get great quality, even HD, if your home Internet connection is fast. There is SlingPlayer software available for a range of not just operating systems but handheld devices as well. Cons: Prices start at $129.99 and your selection of Olympics coverage is limited to what's available from your satellite or cable provider, which means missing early heats and niche events and having to put up with tape delays by the networks. International proxies: It is possible to watch live streams from other countries, such as BBC Sports from the UK or CBC Sports from Canada, by configuring your browser to run through an anonymous proxy. I recommend using Mozilla's Firefox browser with the FoxyProxy add-on installed. Xroxy has a handy list of proxies which you can sort by country to find proxies in the UK or Canada — which must be anonymous, and preferrably running the SOCKS protocol. Your best bet is to get a geeky British or Canadian friend to install a proxy on their machine for you and your Yankee friends. The latency can be frustrating, but once you get a stream started it will work fine. Pros: Quality streams from legitimate providers, and if you're accustomed to jingoistic U.S. coverage, the charming accents from the Beeb's announcers and the humble mien of the Canadians can be quite refreshing. Cons: Takes some technical know-how to set up, and proxies come and go. You might miss an event because you're too busy fiddling with your settings or a proxy fails when too many people sign on. Video on demand: If you're running Windows Vista, you can download events using TVTonic for "Olympics on the Go." Torrent client Azureus works on any system to help download events after the fact, especially the most popular ones like tennis, football, boxing and basketball — Torrentz cross-site search of multiple BitTorrent indexes should make it easy to find the Spain versus China women's basketball game you might miss tomorrow. YouTube's official channel is blocked — even using international proxies — though a reader came up with a crack that works for now. Other less thoroughly policed online video sites like Veoh, Metacafe, Dailymotion and Megavideo will also have videos. Pros: Torrents will be high quality and work for anyone, while video-sharing sites will be easiest to use. Cons: Nothing will be live, obviously, and no one knows how long video clips will remain on sharing sites. P2P Streams: The way I'll be watching online will is through MyP2P, a site that catalogs live sports and television streams from around the Web, listed by event. It helps to run Windows, though not necessarily Vista, because many streams require software downloads — check out MyP2P's beginners guide for tips, including where to find software downloads and optimization settings. I ended up finding live BBC coverage of the opening ceremonies via Justin.tv, which ran just fine in my browser. If you can't find the channel you want in the media format you prefer, check wwiTV, TV For Us, TV Channels Free, Channel Chooser or BeelineTV among others. Pros: Free and fairly easy once you've installed most of the media players listed by MyP2P. And it's fun to watch coverage from other countries — I'll be watching all my football with spanish-speaking announcers whenever possible. Cons: Quality is hit-or-miss, stream links come and go, and you have to think ahead in terms of scheduling to make sure you've got all the necessary programs installed. Also, Mac users will want to install Windows XP through Parallels or Fusion for the widest selection of channels.

Time Warner yesterday announced some weak quarterly financials, with earnings off 26 percent. But there was a big bright spot, the media conglomerate's cable networks like HBO and CNN, where profits were up 18 percent, led by advertising gains. There's a similar situation at NBC Universal, where ratings gains at Bravo (Runway, Top Chef), MSNBC (Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews) and even the USA Network have formed a thick silver lining around the storm cloud that is the flagship broadcast network. The business-side gains add a financial dimension to the cable industry's creative golden age, described by the Times' David Carr in June and obvious to anyone with a smartly programmed DVR or Netflix queue. Cable is the swaggering golden child of television, and it's only going to get more confident, because the advertising model that's fueling all its fun happens to be perfect for a recession.

Apparently, NBC has decided to continue going through the paces of finding America's Top Talent-Haver, when clearly feline pretzel-girl Victoria already has this rodeo all sewn up. Still, there's something to be said for adhering to reality show protocol—particularly when tucking royalty struts among us—and so we were more than happy to take in Drag Tina Turner's electrifying semi-final audition, which unfolded with clockwork precision as her main competition, Drag Britney Spears, watched nervously from the wings. Of course, there was only room for one drag finalist; that, unfortunately, went to neither performer, but rather a Victoria impersonator—played by a 55-year-old, four-foot-tall Chinese-American letter carrier from Sioux Falls, SD—who proved as astonishingly flexible as his adorably whiskered inspiration.

Moderators: Lehrer and Gwen Ifill of PBS, Tom Brokaw of NBC, Bob Schieffer of CBS. [WSJ]

In a startling example of accidental domestic terrorism, the CDC announced today a major breach of its "Dane Cook Cloning" program, begun in 1997 when weaponized anthrax was found "simply not annoying enough." Clone DC-01 escaped his holding cell two weeks ago (distinguishable from his progenitor only by his tattooed sleeves), finally appearing in public to try his hand at terrible, terrible stand-up comedy during last night's episode of Last Comic Standing. The experiment was a success. We are all doomed. [NBC]

• NBC has greenlit Dick Wolf and Chris Levinson's Lost and Found, a drama about—what else?—a female detective. [Variety]

Well, good for Luke Russert. The young son of the late Tim Russert, longtime NBC newsman, just got a job as a political correspondent with NBC. He'll be heading to the conventions to cover "youth issues." Which is shorthand for "bullshit." Seriously, the kid is BU BC class of 2008, his only media experience is looking composed on camera while discussing his father's tragic death and also hosting a satellite radio sports talk show with James Carville (guess how he got that gig!). So... maybe we're just being assholes about it but seriously, NBC, there are a thousand unemployed (or "freelancing!") reporters and journalists out there who might enjoy a cushy on-camera gig! Hell, isn't Gideon Yago available? There's your youth issues! No disrespect intended, of course. Except toward NBC News executives. (Obligatory "this is just like when the Bronx Zoo hired Bindi Irwin" comments commence... now!) [NYO, FishbowlDC. Photo: NYSD]

Though Steve Carell is a perennial Emmy nominee for his work on The Office, he's never taken home a trophy of his own (even as the show itself won the Outstanding Comedy Award in 2006). Now, the LAT's easily excitable Tom O'Neill thinks he's nailed the reason why: Carell is just too darn creepy in the role.

The Chinese government may have assured the International Olympic Committee that reporters would enjoy Western freedoms while covering the Olympic games, such as unfettered access to the Internet. Once on the ground, however, journalists have discovered that's not exactly the case. The IOC has been busy backtracking. Olympics reps now have clarified that open Web access is only for sites about "Olympic competitions" — not, say, Amnesty International, one of many sites that has been blocked. The question no one has asked, however, is why China should feel compelled to act in any other way?

A while back, those savvy kids over at New York magazine's Vulture posed the provocative question: "Is Ryan on The Office a thinly veiled Ben Silverman?" In a case of life imitating art imitating life, it looks like Silverman may follow in his fictional wunderkind's footsteps: rumors are flying that the NBC co-chairman is about to be fired. Says Page Six:

Whether gathering the family 'round to marvel at the sheer Coors-can-devastating force of Busty Heart's exercise-ball-sized melons, or simply gasping in amazement as octuple-jointed youngster Victoria braids her limbs into a human challah bread, you never quite know what form America's talent will take on America's Got Talent. On last night's show, for example, we were treated to that Las Vegas showroom mainstay—the celebrity impersonator—effecting the guise of addled Godfather of Metal, Ozzy Osbourne. So chillingly spot-on was the performance that Ozzy's own wife, Talent judge Sharon Osbourne, admitted not even she could tell the impostor from her own husband. She then insisted he drop his pants and proceeded to examine the contestant thoroughly; satisfied he bore none of Ozzy's distinguishing cigarette burns or The Catheter Bag of Darkness, she was happy to move the doppelganger onto the next round of competition.

"I have big shoes to fill." Meet The Press hosting gig still unsettled. [TV Decoder]

Click to viewFinally a widget I can get behind: TV and movie site Hulu has built a set of highly configurable widgets that can preview or even play full episodes in the middle of a Web page. Now if only they'd carry the entire Season 4 backlog of Battlestar Galactica.