Let's watch some porn. In 4K, "Ultra" HD. Where your eyes can affix to every booty goosebump, every spelunking booger, every little smudge of unmentionable matter at every slope and crack of the human anatomy.

Former Oakland University student Joseph Corlett recently filed a $2.2 million lawsuit against the Michigan-based school for kicking him out after he wrote a Penthouse Forum-esque essay for an English class that centered around his strong sexual attraction to his professor.