"You Should Find the Anti-Komen Backlash Disgusting, Even If You're Pro-Choice," proclaims National Review guy Daniel Foster. Why? Because "the Left" insists on "besmirching Komen's good name" instead of exercising its freedom of speech in Foster's preferred medium: a check.

The reason liberals don't like Herman Cain, the National Review's Victor Davis Hanson explains, isn't that they oppose his policies or that he's too stupid to understand his own policies. It's that he's a real black, not like that fake black Obama.

It didn't take long for many writers who veer towards the "right wing" of the political spectrum to formulate their consensus response to Herman Cain's still-vague history of alleged sexual harassment, and sexual harassment claims in general: Lighten up, sweetheart! But few have had the guts to put it in such brazen terms as crabby old paleocon John Derbyshire, of the National Review. Let us celebrate "Derb" on his momentous day of social commentary.

The National Review has discovered the most comical of ways to celebrate our nation's holy day, Halloween: Writing a special Halloween-themed column about how liberals are pussies! "How to Scare a Liberal to Death," is the column from real person "H.W. Crocker III," who's put together a list of the best old-timey aristocratic conservative costumes to scare your precious liberal friends.

With revolution sweeping the Arab world and new photos of Hitler's mistress coming to light, murderous dictators are much in the news. Here's border control zealot Mark Krikorian raising a timely question, in National Review blog The Corner:

Ever since the Egyptian protests began two weeks ago, the conservative movement has been struggling to spread a lockstep message through its top spokespeople.

Republicans have a problem heading into the 2012 presidential election: They don't like any of their potential candidates. Huckabee, Romney, Palin, Gingrich, Thune, Pawlenty, Barbour and whoever else comes to mind are all losers. It's hard enough to knock off a sitting president, especially one whose poll numbers are on the rise and is, regardless of your opinion of what his "centrist" motives may portend, doing a fine job thus far of establishing himself as Washington's last reasonable man. It's even harder when all of your potential candidates are, again, losers.

The mother of a man charged with making threatening phone calls to House speaker Nancy Pelosi says Fox News was to blame. The National Review, meanwhile, say that Pelosi should be threatened more often, particularly while traveling on planes.

These are the participants in the National Review's online symposium on the recession's disproportionate effect on African-Americans.

Titanic jokes, ahoy! The National Review is offering a delightful cruise in Portugal and Spain for anyone who wants to know what it's like to be trapped in an enclosed space for a week with the likes of Michael Mukasey.

Former National Review Online editor Kathryn Jean Lopez is outraged that Newsweek disseminates the opinions of wanton harlots and avowed sodomites. Specifically, Dan Savage and Sasha Grey.

We thought we'd read nothing worse today than Kathryn Jean Lopez's op-ed on John Ensign's affair. But then we read her NRO colleague Andy McCarthy on how Obama is totally an Islamist Fundamentalist!

Kathryn Jean Lopez, who has in the past year led the National Review Online to ecstatic heights of tribal ululation free of reason and unhinged from political reality, is leaving. Going to picket abortion clinics full-time, we presume.

Ed Whelan, former Scalia law clerk, Bush Justice Department appointee, and, most amusingly, "President of the Ethics and Public Policy Center," got soooo mad at some blogger who was criticizing him that he published the guy's real name and job.

Hey, here is the new cover of The National Review, depicting "Wise Latina" Sonia Sotomayor as... Asian, for some reason.

Conservatives are angry at Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor because she pronounces her name with an emphasis on the last syllable—"SotomayOR"—like a foreigner, which she may as well be because she won't talk Americun. A National Review writer, not a Fox Nation commenter, is advancing this argument.

Jake Tapper is a whiny blowhard and a useless hack with no abilities or principles beyond "getting Jake Tapper attention" and so now the conservatives are suddenly into him.

Sure, Barack Obama is saving the in-the-tank liberal media by lending his image to various tchotchkes, but did you know the president-elect is also going to reinvigorate the conservative media? Fox News expects to goose its ratings capitalizing on right-wing outrage, and conservative journal National Review is one step ahead: It's already running ads saying that if you sign up for a subscription now, you can stop the godless Democratic pinkos from raising your taxes next year. Staff are deserting the magazine right and left, but apparently it is still confident it can single-handedly foil the Democratic Congress! Watch the hilarious ad, seen on Fox News, after the jump.

After seeing a fellow National Review columnist told off by her editor ("embarrassing and outrageous") and readers ("my mother should have aborted me ... I should 'off' myself"), neocon David Frum has decided he is taking his anti-Sarah Palin views and following Christopher Buckley out the conservative journal's door. And amid the nasty internecine feuding on the National Review's website and elsewhere, he sounds more than a bit scared of what's left of the crumbling conservative movement:

Most of the conservative intelligentsia was crammed onto the National Review post-election cruise this week, where they salved each other's campaign wounds by weeping over scrapbooks of the Reagan years and shocking Brent Bozell with a taser. While some had drunken sex with Kate O'Beirne to dim the pain of the McCain loss, NR editor Rich Lowry and whoever the crew could spare stayed in New York to churn out the issue of the magazine, the one to resurrect the conservative cause and state the mission for the next four years. Sadly, Sarah Palin got in the way.The guest list for the cruise was announced as: Mitt Romney, Victor Davis Hanson, Bernard Lewis, Mark Steyn, Christopher Buckley, William McGurn, Jonah Goldberg, Brent Bozell, Pat Toomey, Andy McCarthy, Rob Long, Deroy Murdoch, Byron York, Kathryn Lopez, Kate O’Beirne, Ramesh Ponnuru, Jay Nordlinger, John J. Miller, Darcy Olsen, and Fr. Robert Sirico.