Despite an earlier claim by a Marine Band spokeswoman that quite possibly invalidated the inauguration, a Marine Corps spokesman is now denying that the Marine Band has the authority to say whether or not Beyoncé lip-synched her performance of the National Anthem.

With tens of thousands of people occupying the streets, squares, Citibanks, and other public places of America to demand economic human rights for all, the dedication of a memorial to Martin Luther King Jr. seems like good timing—even if the memorial itself is kinda weird.

Four lawyers face an ethics complaint after helpfully pointing out that a study of mountaintop mining and birth defects in Appalachia "failed to account for consanquinity [sic], one of the most prominent sources of birth defects." In non-legalese: maybe those babies have defects because of how hillbillies like to screw within the family all the time.

Remember how you emailed a friend that trailer for some failed movie? One that by all appearances looked like a total misfire and couldn't get a distributor? Even though thespian powerhouse Nic Cage was the lead? Remember how you laughed?

Our ongoing Pop Culture Doomsday stroked the infant cheek of awards season this morning when the hooded, cloaked cultists at National Board of Review anointed Slumdog Millionaire as their Best Picture pick for 2008. It's just the latest setback today for Paramount, which, with one notable exception, will chase the bitter aftertaste of rolling layoffs with an ice-cold glass of Button-Snub Ultra.

A little off our "beat," but pertinent nevertheless: Late yesterday afternoon, suspended Miami Commissioner Art Teele walked into the lobby of the Miami Herald and committed suicide. After instructing a security guard give a message to Jim DeFede (asking the columnist to tell Teele's wife that he loved her), Teele pulled a pistol from his bag and shot himself in the head. Later that night, Jim DeFede was fired from the Herald after he told superiors that he had recorded a phone conversation with Teele without Teele's permission. Interestingly enough, however, it was Miami New Times reporter Francisco Alvarado who wrote the following introduction to a front-page story on Wednesday: